Tuesday, March 27, 2007

So, I'm an avid blog reader......yes.... I'll admit it.... my name is Nyt and I'm an addict. So now, maybe, I'll work one of my own, let it all out, amuse, entertain....

Today I read a nice piece about infertility, adoption and the judgments that go with both. I'm a grown-up adoptee and I'm in the process of adopting. Not too hard to figure out which side of the whole infertility fence I'm standing on. Anyhow, the nice lady at this blog and many of those that left comments seem to view adoption as a very, very, last resort. Hmmmm... Then there's the comments about the money...Waaahhhh it costs soooo much money!!!! Um.... no.... and um, no.

I'm all for doing whatever makes you happy, really I am, but I can't help but wonder...

I was not struck by the "Imustcarryachild" lightening bolt. I was hit by the "Imustbeamother" one. Maybe because I am an adopted child, the whole biology thingy is lost on me. I respect it, I just don't get it. I try not to be judgmental, really I do, but I have to ask....What is most important here, being a parent or making sure your genes are in the pool? I'm struck by these wonderful romantic comments that these women make, "I want to make two halfs into a whole person." "I want the image of the man I love". Tell me that again when the image is the man you love standing naked scratching his balls.
Seriously though, what it most important? Does it vary from person to person, or is there some divine finite answer that just hasn't been revealed? And why is it a last resort? And if it is your last resort, should you even be allowed to adopt at all? And if you are that last resort person, what to you tell your child about how he/she came to be your child? "Well John/Jane your father and I reached the end of our list and there you were?
Then there's the cost argument. I wonder if any of those people are actually looking at the bills that are sent to the insurance company. After all, we're all paying for their decision to try to have a child of their "own". Oh yeah, and we're paying for the children who aren't being adopted through social programs..... oh and the other thing...no one is paying for our choice. Just us...