Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The One With The Sad But Funny Truth

A few snippets from the last few days....
Flipper and Himself took the field with the dogs again. This was the Swooper's second time in the field aaaannndddd he did nothing. He didn't have to be fished out from underneath the van, but he really didn't do a darn thing. Flipper seems to believe that it's the dogs fault... it really isn't. Back in the day when we were competing, our dogs were exposed several times a week during season. There were 3 day trips to do nothing but hunting and field work. It's not like that anymore. Himself works for a living and most of Flippers compatriots have passed on. I let Flipper blame the dogs, I don't want to highlight his losses over the past few years...

Momma was always the one who was involved in everyone's health. Flipper showed up for dinner on Sunday with the results of his latest blood test. I tried my best to keep my eyebrows from disappearing into my hairline. I read the results, made a suggestion or two and then heard the sentence that Momma waited 30 years for "Okay, If you say so." I had that mixed-feeling thing. I still do. I want to chuckle because we've waited 30 or so years for the "mule" thing to come to an end, 30 years waiting for the sharing to begin. And it began... and part of me wanted to laugh, and the other part of me wanted to cry. And all of me wondered if this is wrapped around his acceptance of age and mortality?

Speaking of age and mortality, Himself and I had the following conversation about mortality and my shitty, money-grubbing family...

Himself: You know, they're going to try and stand in your way if you try and make Flipper's health decisions. I hope he has it written down somewhere. If he doesn't, you don't have a legal leg to stand on.

Nyt: Doesn't matter, I'll do what I have to. He's actually said that he wants me to do the medical stuff, and Ungrateful Nephew to handle the money, so I'm thinking he's got it written down.

Himself: Even if it is, they're still going to give you trouble.

Nyt: Look, it's a non-issue. Once we reach that part of the program, being decent to them, or holding my tongue just doesn't apply anymore. We've always known that once Flipper moves on, there will be no relationship with those people. Contact with them will end. It's up to them whether or not it ends with a bang or a whimper.

Himself: I'm betting on the bang.

Come to think of it, this stuff is way more sad than funny.....

Friday, October 16, 2009

The One About Assumptions

 Call them assumptions, call them judgments, people make them every day. People look at you, at me, they speak to you or me, and they decide in their minds what we're like. They decide if we're educated, wealthy, bright, dim, secure, insecure, whatever... they base their decisions on brief encounters, first impressions if you like.

One of the things that I get a kick out of every time, is when people's assumptions get blown away. Several weeks ago, the therapist working with the Eggroll found her assumptions about me somewhat incorrect. It was fun to watch her face as she tried to jive new information with previous assumptions. It was almost worth the price of admission just for the floor show. It started with the Eggroll announcing that we had gone to see cars over the weekend. I explained that we had gone to a collector's auction. She immediately assumed that Himself was a car fan. She was wrong...it's me that's the fan...I'm the one who speaks automobile fluently... that was just the beginning..

When it comes to me, people assume more than a few things:

*People assume that I'm educated. I'm not particularly. I have a drivers license, a mixology degree, and I'm a certified massage therapist. That's it. I do however have an insatiable curiosity and if something interests me I will learn everything I can about it.

*People assume that my experiences are limited to the staid, solid suburbs. So not the case. I've spent time with all different types of folks, from academics to bikers, artists to actuaries. It's given me a wealth of different experiences.

*People assume that I'm wealthy. So not the case. I wear good jewelry because it's easier than trying to match something every morning. I buy good shoes because I HATE it when my feet hurt.I buy good bags and keep them for 20 years because I'm too lazy to keep up with trends.

It's great fun to watch folks faces when the assumption they've made turn out to be untrue. As the therapist probed me for more information, her face made the most interesting contortions as she tried to process the information. I had to actually stifle myself from laughing. I'm thinking that I probably shouldn't enjoy this kind of stuff as much as I do,,,

Friday, October 09, 2009

The One About The "New Economy" Hitting Home

I pulled out of my garage the other day only to find neighbors gathered in the streets with pitchforks and torches. Not literally mind you, but the feeling? It was more than palpable. You see, the "new" economy has finally touched down in our little suburb. Actually it's more like it crash landed on our street. And folks are scared.

We've been pretty lucky around here actually. We've seen foreclosures, but those have been on the far ends of the spectrum. The middle section of our town has been largely left untouched. Oh sure, homes are not valued at what they once were, but there hasn't been a foreclosure or a sale that gave those numbers any kind of "legs". Until now. Until my neighbor priced his home 13K under average for the area and then sold it for 19K under average. One of the largest homes on the block...19k under average. Now the banks and the powers that be have an actual number to go on. Now the value of our home can be determined by an actual number, not a theoretical one. That number just put at least 5 families on this block upside down in their mortgages. Now everyone on this block has a vested interest in seeing those families succeed.

Friday, October 02, 2009

The One Brought To You By the Letter "D"

Himself suffered quite the disappointment the other day. A paper that he
had worked quite diligently on was denied international publication by the
un-named University that he teaches at. This in and of itself is not the end
of the world, but the denial actually opened with the line "your research is
flawed". So totally the wrong thing to say to my husband. The topic of the
paper was abstract and subjective to begin with, so of course he queried as
to the reason "why" the powers that be decided that the research was
"flawed". After all, it had been accepted and even lauded when presented
at the University level... which brings me to my next "d" word....

Defend: He ended up being put in the position of defending his methods. Not the
premise of the paper, but the methodology used to collect the data. I find
this fascinating, not because of the paper itself, but because it seems to be
the general temperature of society. One must defend themselves, their
beliefs, their choices, every day, over and over. When did it become about
defense? Defense does nothing for anyone other than solidify their own
position, it's a self-validation thing, not a learning experience. If we're so
busy pushing at one another in an effort to defend our individual positions,
how is it that we ever learn from one another?

Debate: Which land me at my next "d" word. Debate. Has it actually disappeared or
is it a case of no one actually knowing what it means? Or has it turned into
a synonym for defend? I'm struck over and over in this life with how often
people are so busy telling others that they are wrong that they fail to hear
anything the other side has to tell them. Rather than expanding each other
by examining multiple facets of any issue, we stand rigid. And it's sad.. If
you push at me and I push at you, neither one of us moves in any direction
at all. If one of us pushes twice...we go somewhere.. the path changes.. but
one of us is going to have to allow ourselves to be pushed twice. One of us
is going to have to let go of being "right". One of us is going to have to con-
sider the possibility.

Derision: It has become perfectly acceptable to ridicule just about anyone who does
not agree with you. Even if they've NEVER SAID ANYTHING AT ALL!
Of course there are political correctness boundaries, but outside of that
loose framework, it's just fine to assassinate just about anyone for any type
of dissension....

Delay: This actually has less to do with the topic and more to do with the fact that
I'm searching for more "d" words so I can keep my behind in this chair a
little bit longer....

Defeat: The clock has beat me, time to start the day...

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