The One About Funny, Frustrating and Fascinations

Some of the stuff that's rattling around in my noggin....

• The Eggroll has now learned to declare that she's "okay". Now, it's fabulous that she's using her words, but the "I'm okay" declaration comes after she makes any kind of noise at all. Flush the toilet? "I'm okay!" Drop a crayon? "I'm okay!" Stomp your foot? "I'm okay!" Move the chair? "I'm okay!" The list is just about endless. The amusing portion of this is that she's learning about inflection in speech, so the "okay" takes on all different intonnations... I'm O-kay, I'm o-KAY, I'm OOOOkay, Okaaaaaayy. I had no idea that there so darn many.

• Morning dressing around here seems to be taking a bit longer since the Swooper has discovered that he can make the Eggroll insane. He currently feels that it's his job to to steal her clean clothes. Oddly enough, he has no interest in the dirty stuff. He sits patiently waiting for her to be in the middle of taking off her PJ's or putting on her underwear and then he sidles up, picks up whatever has been left unattended, and saunters away. Funniest moment that I didn't have a camera for?? The Eggroll confronting the Swooper. He with her socks in his mouth and she naked as a jaybird, hands on hips telling him that those sock are "not yours".

•  Our home improvement investment this year involved a new airconditioner, furnace and a tankless hot water heater. As usual, it started out simple (Boob sweat! Fix my AC!) and morphed into a project. (AC unit too small for house, furnace cannot accommodate larger unit and what the hell, as long as you're in there let's do the water heater) Now while I currently have no idea whether or not the HE airconditioner is saving us any money, I'm pleasantly surprised to report that the water heater is costing us about half as much to run as the standard tank heater we had previously. Add that to the constant hot water, and well, you have a happy Nyt. A Nyt that can be found floating in her giant tub WHILE the washer's running! Nirvana!

• We are on our third faucet for the kitchen sink. When the first two went bad, I pleaded with handyman guy to check the old water heater. I figured that the tank had to be sending bits of something through the lines that kept screwing up my kitchen faucet. 3 faucets in 3 years?? He scolded me for even thinking that, the water heater might be bad, after all it wasn't leaking. After replacing the original heater with the tankless, he declared that I should never have another problem, since all the sludge and decay that was screwing up my faucets was now gone. I found myself somewhere between confusion and vindication....

• Much to Himself's consternation, the Eggroll knows her motorcycles. She can pick out a Harley and loudly declares the rest "rice burners". My bad.....
  

The One About Cletus and The Bot

This little fella here is fondly known as "the bot". For those of you in the know, or for those of you clean freaks out there, "the bot" is a Rainbow/Rexair vacuum. But not just any Rainbow. This particular "bot" has been with me for close to 20 years. And that's not the special part.. the special part is that this particular "bot" was born in 1959. That's right...today I'm mourning the loss of a 50 year old vacuum cleaner.

And it's all Cletus's fault...

The only service guy for these super vacs is located quite a distance from my house. I don't mind really, I think in 20 years, I've had the bot serviced once. Momma had bots over the years and I think I took hers in for service once or twice. Anyhow, the gentleman that handles the service is a semi-retired, over-all wearing, southern drawling sweetie, who's name, for the life of me, I can't remember. Now here's a thing about me...if I can't remember someone's name, I usually prompt myself with one of the person's characteristics, or, heaven help us all, if you have too many characteristics, I'll christen you with a brand spanking new name....hence... Cletus.

After a thorough examination, Cletus declared the bot terminal. Even though the repairs were small (a new cord and possibly a new switch) there just aren't parts for 50 year old bots. And Cletus charges $50 an hour just to poke around. So Cletus and I mourned the loss of my dear friend. But not for long... Cletus decided that no woman (especially one of those "clean freaks"...seriously, he called me a clean freak) should be bot-less. So he introduced me to my new great love...."Shiny Bot"

And shiny he is.... and 'spensive....whoo boy!

Now before anyone scolds me for spending absolute gobs of dough..let me remind you of a few things. First, I was in mourning and second...his cousin was 50 years old. By my estimation that means I'll need a new vacuum when I'm 93 and at that rate this little bugger cost me a measly $26 a year...

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The One Where I Pledge My Undying Love

To this wonderful little gizmo...Santoku Kitchen Shears from Kitchen Aid. I found them in a multi-pack at my local warehouse store, but I've seen them on Amazon for as low as 6 bucks!! 6 bucks people! How many folks can achieve Nirvana for 6 bucks!

Why I'm desperately in love? Because they do everything....lettuce for salad, done! Toddler's sandwich? Done! Spaghetti in toddler's bowl? Done! Chopped veggies for toddler mentioned above? Done! They come apart so that each side may be used seperately (in case you need more leverage) and they can be WASHED....WHEN THEY'RE APART!....AND DRIED!... so you never have to think about what's growing in the parts you can't get to!!!! (My inner OCD monster is smiling broadly!) Oh and one of the great parts, if you happen to use plastic or melamine bowls or plates with your kids, they don't scratch up the inside of the plate or bowl. (there has been much speculation that scratched plastic products release toxic chemicals when exposed to heat). Love Them!!! Run out and secure them immediately, before the rest of the world finds out how awesome they are!

That is all......
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