Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The One About How I Am HUGE in China



I never finished the China posts... So in my quest to organize my life, you will find, from time to time disjointed posts about random stuff that I forgot to finish. Or maybe I didn't forget, maybe I've been meaning to but life got in the way.

Once we landed in Beijing, I was convinced I had entered the 7th circle of Hell. I had been awake for more than 24 hours, sick with the whoopsies for the 12 hours before that, and I had just arrived to 106 degrees with 98% humidity. The only thing that I could think about was a bed and some air-conditioning.... I would get the bed...I would miss the air-conditioning... The one thing that kept running through my head was "death is not an option".



Blessedly, our delayed flight got us into Beijing in the evening, rather than early afternoon, so the whole jet lag thing was solved in pretty short order. We boarded a bus for the trip to our hotel. We arrived at the hotel, checked in, and immediately went to our room. After boiling some water for tooth brushing, and taking our injections, we crawled into the kind of small bed and crashed. We slept fitfully throughout the night, restless to begin with, and the swamp cooler blowing cool but wet air at us didn't help...at least it didn't help me....


A word here about Himself. I seemed to have scored myself the most "durable" fellow around. I call him "Gentle Ben" from time to time...he's the size of a large bear and about as furry. Folks look at him and wonder if size really does matter... it doesn't. He is uneffected by climate, can sleep soundly at the drop of a hat, and will travel miles on foot without so much as a blister. You can load him down with packages, walk him fifteen miles in the blistering sun and he won't issue a single complaint. As a matter of fact, he'll help little old ladies across the street and carry their packages at the same time. I have yet to run across one thing that he won't try, and he's always "up" for the next adventure. It's amazing and humbling at the same time.


And then there's me... the "bitcher". Totally climate sensitive. The planets must align correctly for me to sleep well and I must have the proper equipment to travel miles on foot. I will pass out in the heat and my hands and legs will seize in the cold. And I will tell anyone who'll listen. I will tell them a lot...like every five minutes. Oooh yeah, and I'll cry too. Purely out of frustration, but I will cry. And as for that little old lady??? Man up Sally....carry your own shit. I'm up for the next adventure, and I'll enjoy it, but I'll bitch and moan the whole way. Travel with us my friends, and you will discover the meaning of "polar opposites".


The following morning, Himself wandered about, gathering water and cigarettes while I tried to regain a wee bit of my dignity. One of the few things that Himself and I have in common is the fact that we're both early risers. Especially when traveling. By the time most folks get out of bed, we've been up for hours, wandered about, perhaps already had breakfast. I say perhaps because we're usually up before the kitchen is even open...unless we're near a truck stop... or a Denny's. The group was scheduled to do some touring, so I prepared myself accordingly...


A word about me. I am not a conventionally attractive woman. Many people use the term "striking" when describing me and I choose to believe that they mean it in a good way. I stand over six feet tall, and I am not model thin. I have a real body with some junk in the trunk and hands and feet that are proportionate for my size. I'm not obese, but I'll never be mistaken for skinny. That being said, I realized early on in my life that I was never going to look like everyone else, so I don't try. I actually do the opposite. I'm very graphic, choosing to emphasize my differences rather than try to disguise them. As an example, after Momma died, the hair at my temples went totally gray. My solution? I had my stylist bleach out large chunks of my red hair. So, I sport some Lily Munster stripes. Totally white. Totally obvious.... Here at home, people look and occasionally comment and even when we were in Europe, I'd get some "looks" from time to time, but nothing...absolutely nothing... prepared me for China...

Later that morning, the group boarded a tour bus ( I love tour buses...they have real air-conditioning) and headed for the Great Wall. Despite the heat and humidity, Himself and I decided that the once in a lifetime opportunity far outweighed the uncomfortable and we headed off to "walk the wall". I made it to the first battlement. (probably a little over a mile) Between the heat, the pollution, and the general malaise from traveling, I felt somewhat woozy. I chose to stay in the battlement, while Himself continued on to the end of the section (where there was a roller coaster?!?). I settled in, arranging myself and rearranging myself whenever there was a breeze. After a few minutes a little boy ran up to me and grabbed me around the leg. I smiled and patted his head, he darted off and returned a few moments later with his entire family. They wanted to take a picture with me. Ummm... okay... then there was another family, and another, and another... By the time Himself returned I had taken pictures with no less than 25 families. I joked that I should have charged a few yuan per photo, and maybe I could have paid for the trip. I reasoned that the Great Wall is a destination for all Chinese. Many of these folks had probably never seen a Caucasian, much less a Caucasian that looked like me. I figured that they'd be interested in Himself as well, him being a man of size and all....they weren't... nor were they interested in anyone else in our group. I thought it was odd, but I also thought it was important to be gracious. We joked about it with our group (who I really think thought we were lying) and wrote it off.


The next day, we visited Tienemen Square and it happened again. This time it happened in front of everyone and it made it difficult to navigate the Square. It happened at the Summer Palace, in restaurants, on the street, everywhere... Anywhere we went, if people weren't outright asking for photos, they were surreptitiously snapping away with their cell phones. The click and whirrr sound followed us everywhere. It was amusing for the first few days, then it became downright annoying, and after that, it made both Himself and I positively homicidal. The culture in China is such that in their society it's perfectly acceptable to behave this way, it's perfectly acceptable to say things out loud and in front of someone that we in Western culture would never consider.


So should you receive a postcard from a Chinese friend, or open a Chinese book or magazine and they contain pictures of a large white woman with striped hair.... well.... it's me.... and I'm HUGE in China!!






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Monday, March 16, 2009


The One About Stuff That Makes Me Twitch



Stuff that makes me twitch...

The utility folks who are replacing a line outside. An underground line. It started last week when I looked out the kitchen window to see Utility dude violently shoving my back gate. Yes, that's right the BACK gate. The one with a padlock on it. The one that has a huge "Beware of Dog" sign on it. The one that's not going to open. I opened the window and started politely with "Sir, the gate is locked for a reason, you're welcome to come around to the other side." I was acknowledged with a nod and as soon as I left the window, Utility Dude started in on the gate again. I had to wake Himself up to handle the situation. Much to my chagrin, after all of Utility Dude's hard work, the rain took away the paint markings, and the Swooper brought in all the little flags...Doh!

Today, Utility Dude returned with all his little friends. Once again, gate shoving ensued. Seriously, is there some kind of vision or comprehension test these folks have to take?? And if there is, why are all the flunkies at my house? So now, Utility Dude drives around to the correct side of the yard. And rings the doorbell, which activates the dogs, which activates the child who is supposed to be napping.... Then, I ask UD politely, if he would skip the whole flag part and kindly just use the paint. I explain that the smaller dog just pulls them out anyway... Five minutes later, what's in my yard??? FLAGS!! When I pointed it out, UD said he "forgot". Really?? So there's no memory test involved with this job either...BTW after this UD informs me that they probably won't be in my yard at all, it appears that all the digging will take place in my neighbors yard.

Which is probably a signal that my entire yard will be decimated forthwith....

Le Sigh....



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Friday, March 13, 2009


The One About Decision Making




The "new economy" has left us somewhat lost. I'm not talking about the nation as a whole, I'm talking about individual families. Our homes are worth less, our dollar doesn't go as far, our 401k's are worth about a buck and a half, our jobs are threatened... and we recognize as individuals that we need to make some changes.

So we begin. We research. We read. We compare. We look at our present and our future and we attempt to re-organize priorities and goals. And then we attempt to make decisions...and it all goes awry....

There have been many discussions, many debates... and then we realize... we're missing a critical factor in our decision making process...we are missing experience...

The last "recession/inflation" brouhaha that Himself and I remember was in the late 70's and the early 80's. And as kids, it really didn't affect us. My family was either self-employed or working for the "city" and his family was military. Self-employment involved real-estate...specifically rentals. So back then, there weren't a whole lot of "issues" that we knew about....

Today, things are a little different. Everything that I've been taught about securing your future, doesn't apply. I know how to make money.... but I don't know how to make money in this economy. And neither, it appears, does anyone else. Because no one, and I mean no one has experienced this before.

So, you do the best you can. Because there is no right or wrong answer, there is no good or bad decision. You give up on the idea of actually "making" money and you move on to the idea of "preserving" money. You set aside a year's worth of living expenses because the very real fact is, if you or your breadwinner becomes unemployed, you're going to be unemployed for a while...maybe longer than awhile... You start "stuffing"... stuffing the money in the mattress, stuffing your fear down, and stuffing your anger down.

And make no mistake here... the people who are in this kind of position are scared...really scared... and they're pissed....really pissed...

Just keep in mind that "scared and angry" is what start stampedes.....

I'm just saying......

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Sunday, March 08, 2009


The One About The "Story"

One of my favorite websites is www.salsainchina.blogspot.com. M3 has done a wonderful job of chronicling their adoption journey and their daily life. I check in almost daily, although I've just de-lurked recently. Her current topic is talking to your children about adoption. Any surprise here that I find myself on the "other side of the fence"?

The current trend is to tell your children all about their adoption. I'm not sure I agree. As a matter of fact, I know I don't.....

For starters, it should be mentioned that I am an adult adoptee of an adoptee. Yes, that's right folks, I'm a third generation adopter. My view is different. I'm also a good ten to fifteen years older than most of the folks with children the Eggroll's age. That makes the view a bit different as well.

I am pretty much stunned that folks are choosing to burden their (young) children with the past. Pouring over life-books, telling the "story" over and over...really?!? Ooo and the ones that try and explain the "one-child" thing to a small child? They flat-out scare me.

Kids need to know that they're adopted. But they need to know within the context of RIGHT NOW, not yesterday. They need to know that all families are different, and every family comes to be a family a different way. They need to know that they belong with OUR family, that they are wanted by the family that they have RIGHT NOW and that nothing is ever, ever, going to change that.

I've never agreed with the families that choose to emphasize the differences. There's a whole group of families out there that celebrate all things Chinese. Because their children are Chinese... but how many of these families are celebrating all things from their own heritage as well? How many of these families are actually celebrating and reveling in ALL of the cultures that make up their family? My best guess is, not many....

So, there are families out there trying to be "honest" with their children. And I think that's a good thing.. but when the "honesty" becomes consuming, when the "story" of the past takes precedent over the "story" of the present...that's a problem..
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