The One About Things Getting Out of Hand

Himself often refers to me as "Glitch". My train of thought can be a bit "different" from time to time...take yesterday for example.. and one of our usual phone conversations...


Himself: So how was your day?

Nyt: It was alright, I got the backyard all cleaned up and the furniture uncovered and cleaned

Himself: Why? You're allergic to everything out there..Let me guess, it turned into a project..

Nyt: Well, the rug had to be washed.

Himself: And that had what to do with it?

Nyt: Well, it meant that to wash it I had to sweep the patio.

Himself: And??

Nyt: Well it seemed silly not to pick up all the sticks around the patio as well.

Himself: Uh huh. And?

Nyt: Well then I ran across some dog poop next to a stick, so it seemed silly not to pick up all the poop..

Himself: And?

Nyt: Well, as I was doing poop patrol I noticed that the mulch had been carried all over the yard and it seemed silly to leave it there so I raked it all back in place

Himself: And the furniture??

Nyt: Happened when I sat down for a break and realized that my ass was cold sitting on the stoop. It seemed silly to uncover and wash just one chair...

Himself: Hives?

Nyt: Yep.

Himself: Hands swollen?

Nyt: Ummmm....

Himself: God help me....

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The One About Revolution and Responsibility

I'm a little bit in love with Jamie Oliver. I've admired his take on food since back in the day when he was the "Naked Chef". Now, I'm in love with the "Food Revolution". I've had many gripes about food and the way we eat in this country for a long time. I'm so pleased that the issue is moving to the forefront.

What has blown me away with this, is the lack of responsibility that parents accept when it comes to their children. A six year old that doesn't know how to use a knife and fork? Children that can't identify even half of the raw veggies shown to them. A tomato for a potato?? Really??

I had a meeting the other day for the Eggroll's IEP. I love her current speech teacher and we happened to wander into the topic of Food Revolution and parents expectations for "school" in general. Along with the idiocy that is the educational system. For instance, in my district, they do teach a section on food and nutrition, beginning in kindergarten. But the cafeteria fare is the standard carb rich chicken nuggets, pizza and mac and cheese. Way to walk the talk!


Seriously, if I hear one more parent tell me that "she/he only eats chicken nuggets" or hotdogs or whatever, I'm going postal. Or the ever popular "but that's what he/she likes"... I don't give a damn what he/she likes... it's my responsibility as a parent to grow the healthiest child I can. That means more fresh fruit than canned, more fresh vegetables than frozen and more lean protein than fatty goodness. Oh and did I mention the carbs?? Yeah..less of the garbage ones.

I would love to offer my kid absolutely everything she wants. But I can't. I'm her parent, not her playmate. And it's my responsibility to behave that way....

The One About Being Conservative

Folks that know me probably know that I'm basically a Republican. I say basically because Republican doesn't mean the same things that it used to. Right now in my little corner of the world Republican generally means conservative. But not necessarily conservative about the things that you might think. Over the past few days and weeks, there has been much chatter at kitchen tables all over town, and I've been privy to a few and I've learned a few things along the way.

We're closer than you think: Most of us are actually socially liberal. We'd like to help those that we can. As a matter of fact, most of us do. Whether it's time or money, most of us can be counted on to contribute to either organizations or individuals.

We are not greedy, we are fiscally responsible: The reason that many of us seem to fall into higher tax brackets is because we've been educated to be responsible with the money we earn and invest. We, as a group, are much more likely to reinvest in the economy, creating both jobs and liquidity. We are the people who create opportunities for less fortunate.

We are not all religious zealots: As a matter of fact, most of us don't give a whit about your religion, what goes on in your bedroom, or who you choose to make your life with. As a matter of fact, you might be surprised to find out that whether or not we "personally" agree with a topic such as abortion or gay marriage, almost all of us agree that it's none of our business. Many of us actually support gay marriage, and most of us agree that abortion is a personal decision.

We lament the loss of tradition: Seriously, one nation under God, and in God we trust is all about the tradition for us. We believe that it got us this far, there's no reason to think it won't take us farther.

We are not racists: Despite the current popular opinion, we're not racists. If anything we're anti-stereotype, not anti-race. It is the stereotype that draws our ire, not the race itself.

With everything that's gone on in Washington this week, I thought it might be important to understand that we are actually much closer together than we once thought. Although I remain vehemently anti-Obama, it's not for the reasons that some people might think...

Where do you stand???

The One Where I Try To Remember That Doubles are Lucky

It's been a "thing" in my family for as long as I can remember. I'm not sure how it works, it's some kind of crazy numerology thing, but it's always been true. Doubles are significant for me. Always have been, always will be. There are doubles in my birth date, in Momma's birth date, and if you added up the date of her death, it equaled the doubles in her birth date. Doubles in my daughters "gotcha" date, and if you add up her birth date, you get doubles again. Add up the date of my anniversary, you get doubles. I met Himself in a year of doubles... Despite the fact that it sounds crazy, there are too many occurrences to believe that it's random. It's the way the universe seems to work for me...

So today I hit yet another "double" in life. Today I turn 44. It looks old when I write it, it sounds old when I say it. Yet most days, I don't feel old at all. Most days, I just feel like a really smart (or smart-assed) 22 year-old. And those other days, where I just feel like the 99 year-old woman.

So, just for today, I'm going to try and remember that so many things that shape me as a person came to me in doubles. And that this year of doubles will be the best one yet...

PS: this post sat in draft overnight. Apparently my lucky doubles thing doesn't extend to technology.... le sigh