The One About Men Ruling the World

Of course it's a "national treasure"....

The One About All Kinds of People

 This gentleman and his "friend" seemed to be everywhere we were.

The only thing I could say? "It takes all kind of people to make a world"

The One About Energy and Everyday

The Swooper and the Sentinel

I wasn't too surprised to find her airborne in this photo.

The surprise would have been finding a photo of them where she wasn't.

 

The One About Black and White

 

 

 

Several weeks ago, Himself was outside with the Eggroll. Our neighborhood is ripe with little kids and there was a small group of them playing across the street. The Eggroll, being the social little kid that she is, wanted to play with the other kids and as she started across the street, one of the kids yelled "You can't come over here because you're black and white". 

I think time may have stopped for Himself. The Eggroll stated that she is in fact NOT black and white, she's Chinese. She returned to her father and shortly thereafter they both came into the house.

When he told me the story, I was a little put off, but not nearly as upset as he was. I told him that I was going to see the offending child's mother at a function, and if I had an opportunity, I would speak to her about it. The function came and went and although she was there and we spoke, the time to bring up something such as that just never arose. Himself was disappointed but not particularly upset.

Several days ago, I caught the Mom on the street. We chatted for a few minutes and since we were alone, I decided that the time was right for a difficult topic. As I relayed the story, I didn't flat out tell her that it was HER child that had uttered the phrase. I just said that one of the kids did it and that I thought she should be aware. She apologized profusely for the incident and I told her that it certainly didn't bother us, but it certainly might not be received well in other company. 

Situation resolved....

When I told Himself about the conversation, he was disappointed that I had not pointed out to her that it was her kid. He felt as though I let her off the hook. I told him that no matter how you word that one, no one is going be open and receptive when you accuse their kid of any kind of racism. It's calling them a racist by proxy...just not going to work....

And then, a half an hour later ...

"Oh Shit!" (he's watching the baseball game)

"Whassamatter? They give up another run?"

"No, no. Oh shit!"

"What is your issue?"

"The White Sox dammit!"

"What?"

"The White Sox, Nyt... their slogan.."

"What about their slogan?"

"Their slogan is "it's black and white" and we've had so many conversations with those parents about who's a Sox fan and who's a Cub's fan..."

"Oh shit...indeed"

 

 

Situation not exactly resolved.....

The One About Things Getting Out of Hand

Himself often refers to me as "Glitch". My train of thought can be a bit "different" from time to time...take yesterday for example.. and one of our usual phone conversations...


Himself: So how was your day?

Nyt: It was alright, I got the backyard all cleaned up and the furniture uncovered and cleaned

Himself: Why? You're allergic to everything out there..Let me guess, it turned into a project..

Nyt: Well, the rug had to be washed.

Himself: And that had what to do with it?

Nyt: Well, it meant that to wash it I had to sweep the patio.

Himself: And??

Nyt: Well it seemed silly not to pick up all the sticks around the patio as well.

Himself: Uh huh. And?

Nyt: Well then I ran across some dog poop next to a stick, so it seemed silly not to pick up all the poop..

Himself: And?

Nyt: Well, as I was doing poop patrol I noticed that the mulch had been carried all over the yard and it seemed silly to leave it there so I raked it all back in place

Himself: And the furniture??

Nyt: Happened when I sat down for a break and realized that my ass was cold sitting on the stoop. It seemed silly to uncover and wash just one chair...

Himself: Hives?

Nyt: Yep.

Himself: Hands swollen?

Nyt: Ummmm....

Himself: God help me....

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The One About Why I'll Never Be Asked To Join the Woman's Club

Today, while waiting for the Eggroll to finish her speech class, I found myself waiting with 2 other Moms. Let's just call them Shiny Suzy and Perfect Patty. They are apparently acquainted and I found myself listening to the following conversation:

Perfect Patty: Hey Suzy, I was thinking of you the other day. Do you have a recommendation for a DJ?

Shiny Suzy: Of course. I don't have it with me but just give me a call. He's great and he's pretty cheap too. Why do you need him?

Perfect Patty: Well, I'm putting the annual block party together and I have to be careful what I spend. You know how people are. Last year we had a pig roast, a DJ and all kind of things and we asked people to pay $25 per family, this year we're not asking for any money at all, we're going to get part of the cost from our HOA and then I guess I'll just have to go to local businesses for the rest.

Shiny Suzy: Well, that's going to be a lot of work. I was in charge of our block party for 6 years and I got tired of doing everything myself. You know people always say that they're willing to help, but they never do.

Perfect Patty: I know, I've decided just to do it myself, I haven't heard from any of the ladies who offered to help.

-------------here's where it starts to get a little dicey--------------

Nyt: (raising my hand) Ladies, I couldn't help but over hear. I'm one of those people who always offers to help and I do mean it. But if I never hear another word from the organizer, how am I supposed to know what to help with?

------------ and here's where it all starts to go wrong--------

Shiny Suzy: That doesn't matter, you should just show up for your assignment.

Nyt: I beg your pardon?

Perfect Patty: Yes, you should just show up and do whatever you're told.

Shiny Suzy: We don't have time to chase people down. We're busy.

Nyt: Well, I would think that if you needed the help it wouldn't be a big deal to inquire if the person that offered is still willing and if she is, to just pass out the "assignment" then.

Shiny Suzy: I'm not interested in doing that, if you offer and don't show up it's just being ignorant.

----- the part where it comes crashing down-----

Nyt: Small wonder no one helps you.

------------- cue dead silence---------

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The One About Enforcer Bunny

This sweet looking critter is the "Enforcer Bunny" and he rules the Eggroll with an iron carrot....

During our trip to the Great Southwest, a friend of mine left the bunny on the doorstep. She called to tell me it was there and I brought it in and set it on the counter while Eggroll was napping.

It was one of those "throwdown" days, where every fifteen minutes Eggroll was having a fit over one thing or another. I forgot about the bunny on the counter, and later on that evening, she noticed it. She immediately declared it "Eggroll's Bunny". I was exhausted, and I'd had enough for the day. I told her she could have the bunny when she had a day with no "fits".

Bunny sat on the counter for two days. Each day she'd ask me about it and each day I told her she could have it when she went a day without a fit. On the third day, while I was putting her to bed, I asked her which one of her stuffed hippos she'd like to sleep with. She looked at me and began wagging her finger back and forth. And then, my child, who rarely speaks more than three words together, said "No fits today, I can have the bunny"..... She got the bunny and I laughed until the tears ran.

Since then, Bunny has become the enforcer. Fits can be quelled instantly with the threat of Bunny denial...

I love the bunny...

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The One That's So So Wrong

But so damn funny I can't stop laughing

With two poses even!

Better get yours before someone figures out how not complimentary this really is!