The One About Energy and Everyday
The Swooper and the Sentinel
I wasn't too surprised to find her airborne in this photo.
The surprise would have been finding a photo of them where she wasn't.
Showing posts with label pets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pets. Show all posts
Monday, January 03, 2011
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The One Where I Am Awed By Simple Compassion
There are days when the mundane changes your view, days when you see things that were right in front of you for the very first time...days like yesterday....
Yesterday the Spinner and I set off for the vets for his annual shots and checkup. I should have known that something was "off" when I exited my car in the lot, there were several people standing outside with their animals, but my addled brain just blew past it without so much as a second thought. As I exchanged greetings with the standees, I didn't notice anything different and no one said anything other than basic pleasantries. Then I opened the door...
Inside was a man and a woman, the woman held a small dog wrapped in a blanket. She was keening and wailing with a pain that was palpable. He was stoic and rigid in his chair. For many of us, that kind of pain invades our soul. Maybe we've been there, maybe we haven't, but that kind of primal sound touches places inside of us that we'd much rather leave untouched. I wanted to run out the door. I wanted to say something, anything to ease their pain, to somehow make it better, but I couldn't, I didn't want to invade, I didn't want to open my heart for fear of feeling their pain and reminding me of the pains of the past. Instead, I slipped into the opposite side of the divided waiting room. The Spinner settled himself onto my lap.
The couple was ushered into an exam room. I could hear more keening and wailing through the door and then the woman ran outside. Several minutes later, the man followed suit, expressionless, holding the empty leash and collar. My heart hurt for him. As women, we often make the men in our lives responsible for the most umpleasant tasks, and because they love us, they do it without complaint.
The Spinner and I were ushered into another exam room, and the whole vaccination, check-up thing went flawlessly. For a few minutes anyway, the drama unfolding seemed far away...
I've written about the Spinner before. What I haven't talked about is the fact that the Spinner is a one person dog. He's MY dog. He's perfectly pleasant to strangers, and he'd never bite a soul, but he'll never actively seek out another human, at least when I'm around. It's just his way...
While I stood at the counter, waiting for my bill and tags, the Spinner took to spinning in front of the exit. The man entered the room, sat down, put his head in his hands and began to weep silently.
Then a very peculiar thing happened. While I stood there frozen, the Spinner stopped spinning. While searched my brain for the right thing to say, the Spinner walked to the man and sat down in front of him. While I debated whether or not I should call my dog, the Spinner began gently licking the tears from the weeping man. While time stopped for me, the Spinner sat with the man who wept openly while clutching the Spinner with all his might. And I couldn't think of one thing to say... And my dog, the dog who is not so fond of strangers, stayed with that man until his tears subsided...
I don't know how long it lasted. I know that when it was over, the Spinner returned to the exit and began spinning again. I know that I had no words, I know that I was overwhelmed in so many ways. I know that for all our bluster as human beings, for all our intelligence and dominance in this world, for all our words and superiority.... the only thing that I saw in those moments, was the pure compassion shown by an animal. As much as I, and the others in that office recognized the pain, for whatever reason, the only creature that even tried to help was the former foofy dog that I call my friend...and I'm in awe...
Yesterday the Spinner and I set off for the vets for his annual shots and checkup. I should have known that something was "off" when I exited my car in the lot, there were several people standing outside with their animals, but my addled brain just blew past it without so much as a second thought. As I exchanged greetings with the standees, I didn't notice anything different and no one said anything other than basic pleasantries. Then I opened the door...
Inside was a man and a woman, the woman held a small dog wrapped in a blanket. She was keening and wailing with a pain that was palpable. He was stoic and rigid in his chair. For many of us, that kind of pain invades our soul. Maybe we've been there, maybe we haven't, but that kind of primal sound touches places inside of us that we'd much rather leave untouched. I wanted to run out the door. I wanted to say something, anything to ease their pain, to somehow make it better, but I couldn't, I didn't want to invade, I didn't want to open my heart for fear of feeling their pain and reminding me of the pains of the past. Instead, I slipped into the opposite side of the divided waiting room. The Spinner settled himself onto my lap.
The couple was ushered into an exam room. I could hear more keening and wailing through the door and then the woman ran outside. Several minutes later, the man followed suit, expressionless, holding the empty leash and collar. My heart hurt for him. As women, we often make the men in our lives responsible for the most umpleasant tasks, and because they love us, they do it without complaint.
The Spinner and I were ushered into another exam room, and the whole vaccination, check-up thing went flawlessly. For a few minutes anyway, the drama unfolding seemed far away...
I've written about the Spinner before. What I haven't talked about is the fact that the Spinner is a one person dog. He's MY dog. He's perfectly pleasant to strangers, and he'd never bite a soul, but he'll never actively seek out another human, at least when I'm around. It's just his way...
While I stood at the counter, waiting for my bill and tags, the Spinner took to spinning in front of the exit. The man entered the room, sat down, put his head in his hands and began to weep silently.
Then a very peculiar thing happened. While I stood there frozen, the Spinner stopped spinning. While searched my brain for the right thing to say, the Spinner walked to the man and sat down in front of him. While I debated whether or not I should call my dog, the Spinner began gently licking the tears from the weeping man. While time stopped for me, the Spinner sat with the man who wept openly while clutching the Spinner with all his might. And I couldn't think of one thing to say... And my dog, the dog who is not so fond of strangers, stayed with that man until his tears subsided...
I don't know how long it lasted. I know that when it was over, the Spinner returned to the exit and began spinning again. I know that I had no words, I know that I was overwhelmed in so many ways. I know that for all our bluster as human beings, for all our intelligence and dominance in this world, for all our words and superiority.... the only thing that I saw in those moments, was the pure compassion shown by an animal. As much as I, and the others in that office recognized the pain, for whatever reason, the only creature that even tried to help was the former foofy dog that I call my friend...and I'm in awe...
Monday, February 23, 2009
The One About Doing What Comes Naturally
There's a long and involved story about how I came to be a fan of upland game hunting. I can't shoot worth a darn and I pretty much despise the outdoors. I hate the idea of birds suffering and I'm not a big fan of dirt in general. Suffice it to say that I find nature most appealing when I'm viewing it from a clean window in a temperature controlled environment. Oh...and then there's that whole peeing outside thing....I hate peeing outside...
Now that I've established those boundaries, let me tell you what I do enjoy. I enjoy watching these animals to what they were bred to do. I enjoy the unbridled passion and intelligence that these animals exhibit when they commit to the three "F's"....find the bird, flush the bird, fetch the bird... there's really something quite zen about it...
Over the years, we've had a series of these dogs. Starting with the Moose and ending with the Swooper, one generation has learned from another. This time, it's the Spinner guiding the Swooper. It's the Swooper's first time in the field and he really did much better than I thought. I had visions of having to fish him out from under the van after the first shot was fired..but he hung in and followed the Spinner...
He patiently followed along...
When in doubt, it's always a great ideato bite the other guy in the behind...
The lead is to control the jumping..theSpinner is not too adept at "flush the
bird" yet...He's more into "snap the bird
out of the air"...
Working the field...
A perfect point...
A singular focus...
Not bad for a former "foofy" show dog..Though he still has that "showy" gait
Waiting for the shot....All in all a successful morning... There was at least one funny though. This was the first time Himself and I had been out in the field together. As I was standing fiddling with the camera, a bird shot out from behind me and flew over my head. I hit the deck, camera and all..and Himself looked at me oddly when I got up. He said "I would never fire over your head"... Mmmm-hmmm just wait till you see the next credit card bill buddy..... LOL!
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Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The One with Recaps and Opinions
Well then, the last couple weeks have just kind of flown by. We've been busy around here at the House of Nyt...
Well then, the last couple weeks have just kind of flown by. We've been busy around here at the House of Nyt...
- The Eggroll had her lucky toe removed. When we first started the process, we were prepared for the worst case scenario. I am pleased to report that there were no pins involved, no medications necessary, and that she is already out of her cast. No one has any idea how thrilled I am for her that it ended up being sooo easy. Within two days of surgery, she was walking on her cast and life was pretty much normal. The kid amazes everyone, no complaints, no fussing, nothing.... We had her cast removed yesterday and everyone remarked at how easy she was.. It is a bonus with kids that have been institutionalized, some are very used to being handled by a myriad of people. The minus, of course, is that it makes it very difficult to teach the whole "stranger danger" thing. I do notice though, that if she's in her "own" surroundings that she is loathe to deal with strangers. I met GB and his hubby for lunch the other day and I opened Vanbo's door before I got out. GB reached in to take her from her car seat and all hell broke loose. Let's just say...people stared...
- We're having a case of the "3's". Every direction is challenged (usually with tears) and absolutely everything is a tradgedy of epic proportions. Seriously... If you ask the Eggroll "who's moaning myrtle?" she replies with a grin... "I'm moaning myrtle!" With Himself back on the night shift, I've suggested earplugs....strongly... BTW, I'm turning into my own parents... I just turn up the TV or radio when the screaming begins... LOL! I'm not holding out for "mother of the year 2009".
- I'm not making much progress on reducing the "stuff" taking over the House of Nyt. So far I've only managed to get one huge bag to Goodwill. Speaking of donations.. I used to donate to a community group that helps families in need. They've begun dictating exactly what they want, how they want it, and when they want it. I find it rather ungrateful myself... I'm not sure I know anyone who has the time to sort and classify their donations, and then drop those donations only on the day of the week assigned to them. I'm serious... this group wants women's clothes on monday after 1pm and childrens clothes on tuesday between 2 and 4....etc. Small wonder my stuff is now going to Goodwill...
- I have managed to read a book. Not earth-shattering, I know...but I've been so involved with everyone else that I'd forgotten about me...
- Our six-month "inspection" is tomorrow. Yeah... that's when I let a complete stranger into my home to judge my parenting skills and my home in general....Crap! I just remembered that Ms. Judgey needs photos! Next on the to-do list....
- The Swooper continues to get larger and larger. I have an appointment for him this afternoon, I'll be interested to see how much he actually weighs. He's also developed a fondness for sleeping in the bed. And one other thing that just warms my soul... he's beginning to "talk". My Ancient Brit used to talk by snapping his teeth together and growling different intonations. Swooper is starting the same thing...makes me smile every time.
- "Fatburger" will not make you fat. We stopped there on Saturday for dinner and by Sunday I had relearned the definition of "explosive" when it comes to bodily fluids. Yet two more days on the Gatorade and Coke diet. Not the healthiest, but at least my jeans are looser. As a totally unrelated and politically incorrect aside... there were 4 folks of the Caucasian persuasion in Fatburger... we were 2 of them....
- Disney on Ice should be renamed, "Grift the Parents". May I say that a $300 dollar day for a three year old is a bit on the excessive side. I'm not kidding. $200 bucks for tickets, $20 to park, $30 for popcorn and soda, $15 for the souvenir...and a bite to eat afterward?? In the whole plus/minus thing, she really enjoyed it and actually paid attention to the show... on the minus side, we ran into one of the women from the adoption group ahead of ours. She's really not our biggest fan, the feeling is mutual... and all it led to was "awkward"... I'm really glad your child is happy and adorable... but really, is there any event that you'll shower for???
- If the whole country is saving their money, why is there a 30 minute wait at my local Red Robin?? If the whole country is broke why is there no parking at my local mall??
- I'd like to opt out of the whole stimulus package thing. And I'm frightened by the stuff that has been slipped in. If you haven't read it...do so... make your own call... but the parallels to Socialist Europe are frightening.
- I'm amused to no end by a friend's comment.."If you're on the right side, the Chocolate Jesus will shit M&M's for you"... and I thought I wasn't a believer... LOL!
- I'm off to complete today's chores... I've already cleaned the playroom ( yes there was bleach involved) and now the rest of the house awaits....
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Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The One About The 90 Second Rule
I have a 90 second rule. If I awake for any reason, I must be back in bed and under the covers in 90 seconds or less....otherwise.... I'm up for the day....which is why.... I'm writing this at 4 in the morning...
The Spinner thought it would be a brilliant idea to drink a bowl and a half of water right before I turned out the lights last night. That caused him to wake me at 3:30 this morning by doing the whole spinning thing.....ON MY HEAD! This in turn activated the Swooper, who then began the "whine and moan" song from inside his kennel. This in turn activated my own bladder. So being the super pet owner that I am... I went first, they went next and it all took over 90 seconds. So here I am...swilling coffee while telling the interwebz all about our bodily functions, while the two of them peacefully snooze away....
In other news, the quest for a combo-home continues. My poor realtor must think I'm nuts. Since the housing market took a poop, I've been searching for a way to combine Flipper's with the House of Nyt. The two house thing is just ridiculous. Between us, we have over 7000 sf of home, 4000 of which sits empty 6 months a year. This month alone we paid almost $1000 in heating costs, and let's not even consider the $21000 in property taxes. It's no longer making sense to have two seperate houses. Actually, for many years, this was Momma's plan for the family. Several years before she left us, she and I were investigating properties with potential.
Anyway, it's something I've been tossing around for a while. I watch the foreclosure market and my realtor and I hit stuff that looks interesting. And since I've had "the dream" I'm convinced that the "one" is right around the corner. This weekend Mr. Homes and I hit 7 properties. And then, I hit "the wall". Two of the homes had potential. Both would have needed work. One was a foreclosure..priced roughly 150k under market value, the other? 150k more and a regular owner sale... The problems? Foreclosure house has the land, but a deed restriction on fencing. Regular seller's home is sinking (at least the back half). Both homes require a similar amount of interior work (note to all those who think that venetian plaster is a great idea...take it off before you try and sell the house) but the sinking home has the perfect layout, while the foreclosure home will never have the "flow"....even with renovation. But the deal..... Gah! I've hit the wall. I guess if I'm terrified to pull the trigger, it mustn't be the time to shoot....
In the land of Declarations, the economizing portion of our program goes on. One of the things that I've decided to do is record the stuff that works and the stuff that stinks. If for no other reason than to remind myself.... see, I get distracted easily and...ooooo look......Shiny!
The Spinner thought it would be a brilliant idea to drink a bowl and a half of water right before I turned out the lights last night. That caused him to wake me at 3:30 this morning by doing the whole spinning thing.....ON MY HEAD! This in turn activated the Swooper, who then began the "whine and moan" song from inside his kennel. This in turn activated my own bladder. So being the super pet owner that I am... I went first, they went next and it all took over 90 seconds. So here I am...swilling coffee while telling the interwebz all about our bodily functions, while the two of them peacefully snooze away....
In other news, the quest for a combo-home continues. My poor realtor must think I'm nuts. Since the housing market took a poop, I've been searching for a way to combine Flipper's with the House of Nyt. The two house thing is just ridiculous. Between us, we have over 7000 sf of home, 4000 of which sits empty 6 months a year. This month alone we paid almost $1000 in heating costs, and let's not even consider the $21000 in property taxes. It's no longer making sense to have two seperate houses. Actually, for many years, this was Momma's plan for the family. Several years before she left us, she and I were investigating properties with potential.
Anyway, it's something I've been tossing around for a while. I watch the foreclosure market and my realtor and I hit stuff that looks interesting. And since I've had "the dream" I'm convinced that the "one" is right around the corner. This weekend Mr. Homes and I hit 7 properties. And then, I hit "the wall". Two of the homes had potential. Both would have needed work. One was a foreclosure..priced roughly 150k under market value, the other? 150k more and a regular owner sale... The problems? Foreclosure house has the land, but a deed restriction on fencing. Regular seller's home is sinking (at least the back half). Both homes require a similar amount of interior work (note to all those who think that venetian plaster is a great idea...take it off before you try and sell the house) but the sinking home has the perfect layout, while the foreclosure home will never have the "flow"....even with renovation. But the deal..... Gah! I've hit the wall. I guess if I'm terrified to pull the trigger, it mustn't be the time to shoot....
In the land of Declarations, the economizing portion of our program goes on. One of the things that I've decided to do is record the stuff that works and the stuff that stinks. If for no other reason than to remind myself.... see, I get distracted easily and...ooooo look......Shiny!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The One Where I Win Mother of the Year
What the fly on the wall heard: "For heaven's sake child eat your vegetables, there are starving children in China who would be grateful for fresh veggies"....
Yeah...I suck.... (I'll just run with the current social climate and blame it on my parents)
It's been a week of adjusting in the ole House of Nyt. After almost three weeks in the Great Southwest with Grampaw and a passel of doting aunts and uncles, lets just say that getting back to routine is challenging. Think sugar withdrawal combined with a case of the "twos".... good times....good times....
On the plus side, the three weeks surrounded by nothing but adults did wonders for the Eggroll's speech...
The Swooper has virtually doubled in size. He and the Spinner are virtually inseparable. As I write this, they are chasing each other throughout the house.....four levels...nothing but wood floors... it sounds like a herd of buffalo. Swooper's also broken out in freckles...cutest thing ever!!!
Then we have Spinner, who has taken counter surfing to a whole new level. If anyone was concerned about the political correctness of a Chinese child carrying a Chinese baby doll, fret no more. The Spinner has solved the problem by surfing the doll off of the table and making Dolly a double amputee. Hopefully, the Eggroll has so many toys that she won't miss it. The current problem is the fact that I only found enough parts for ONE amputation.....which means that the Spinner devoured the first amputation....so I will spend my day in below zero temperatures on poop and puke patrol....Woot!! Sadly, the deranged "special effects" Elmo is still alive and well. If I had to sacrifice one toy on the altar of upset dog.....it would have been Elmo....at least the baby doll was quiet.
The snow is coming down again, and it's just too darn cold for anything other than gazing out the window. I will say this though, I never tire of the quiet beauty of winter. When everything is silent, fresh and crisp.... I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune as soon as I step outside the house, but for right now...the beauty is stunning.. Things "live" differently in winter..the animals outside travel in different paths, the house makes different noises, people move differently as well. We tidy our nests, cook the food that warms not only our bellies, but our souls, hold those close to us just a little tighter. Maybe it's the primal knowledge that of all the seasons...winter is the one that could end our time on this earth in the blink of an eye... Perhaps that's why it appeals to me... the whole primal simplicity..
And then there's the view from the window...the one that reminds me how lucky I am to be gazing at frigid beauty from the warmth of my kitchen...
Stay warm...
Yeah...I suck.... (I'll just run with the current social climate and blame it on my parents)
It's been a week of adjusting in the ole House of Nyt. After almost three weeks in the Great Southwest with Grampaw and a passel of doting aunts and uncles, lets just say that getting back to routine is challenging. Think sugar withdrawal combined with a case of the "twos".... good times....good times....
On the plus side, the three weeks surrounded by nothing but adults did wonders for the Eggroll's speech...
The Swooper has virtually doubled in size. He and the Spinner are virtually inseparable. As I write this, they are chasing each other throughout the house.....four levels...nothing but wood floors... it sounds like a herd of buffalo. Swooper's also broken out in freckles...cutest thing ever!!!Then we have Spinner, who has taken counter surfing to a whole new level. If anyone was concerned about the political correctness of a Chinese child carrying a Chinese baby doll, fret no more. The Spinner has solved the problem by surfing the doll off of the table and making Dolly a double amputee. Hopefully, the Eggroll has so many toys that she won't miss it. The current problem is the fact that I only found enough parts for ONE amputation.....which means that the Spinner devoured the first amputation....so I will spend my day in below zero temperatures on poop and puke patrol....Woot!! Sadly, the deranged "special effects" Elmo is still alive and well. If I had to sacrifice one toy on the altar of upset dog.....it would have been Elmo....at least the baby doll was quiet.
The snow is coming down again, and it's just too darn cold for anything other than gazing out the window. I will say this though, I never tire of the quiet beauty of winter. When everything is silent, fresh and crisp.... I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune as soon as I step outside the house, but for right now...the beauty is stunning.. Things "live" differently in winter..the animals outside travel in different paths, the house makes different noises, people move differently as well. We tidy our nests, cook the food that warms not only our bellies, but our souls, hold those close to us just a little tighter. Maybe it's the primal knowledge that of all the seasons...winter is the one that could end our time on this earth in the blink of an eye... Perhaps that's why it appeals to me... the whole primal simplicity..
And then there's the view from the window...the one that reminds me how lucky I am to be gazing at frigid beauty from the warmth of my kitchen...Stay warm...
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Sunday, January 04, 2009
The One Where I Return From Sabbatical
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Well then..... I trust that everyone had fun and fabulous Holidaze???? If you answered "yes" good for you.. if you answered "no" well, then...better luck next year...
Since I've been absent for darn near 30 days, we'll keep the recap short and sweet. Heaven knows that no one wants to listen to me babble for hours... I believe we left off right before Thanksgiving.
THANKSGIVING--
2 turkeys, 2 different kinds of dressing, 2 kinds of potatoes, 2 weeks of furious housecleaning, 15 people, 5 of which I like, 10 of which I don't, 2 fags, 1 recovering alcoholic, 1 eight week old puppy, 1 Eggroll, 4 other kids, 2 sets of parents allergic to disciplining the 4 children, Flipper holding court in his chair..(then there was the complaining that my family room doesn't seat enough people) 'Nuff said??? Good......moving on.....
POST-THANKSGIVING
At least one week was spent in recovery from the Thanksgiving meal. One of the great mysteries in my life is "where the hell does all this stuff go??" My house regularly burps up enough entertaining gear for a White House dinner, then refuses to accept the return of said gear. When it finally does accept the returns, there's a whole "get even" thing, which is why, no matter how many I buy, I never have more than 9 of anything...placemats, napkins, glasses...nine, apparently, is my homes lucky number....
The week was also spent holding my breath. Flipper and friends were scheduled to depart for the Great Southwest on the 13th of December. If you've hung around here for a while, then you know the airlines will not board the friends unless the ground temp is higher than 20 degrees. The week before his departure was bitterly cold. I made contingency plans, they involved 2 friends, one Eggroll, a fag, and Vanbo..... didn't sound like a vacation to me. Flipper being the clueless soul that he is thought it would be a fabulous idea to bring "all" the friends down since I was driving anyway... so let's see...that makes...Skinny, Minnie, Spinner, Swooper, Eggroll, Nyt, 1 fag, 1800 miles, and Vanbo...I gently reminded Flipper that Vanbo is a MINI-van, not a tour bus....and then my hair fell out.
Since Flipper is such a lucky guy, departure day was a balmly 36 degrees... I finally exhaled several hours after I dropped him off....
Of course the next several days were spent prepping Eggroll and myself for departure. Due to circumstances beyond our control (two busted eyes and one take-out pick-up...) Himself was out of days for the year, and we were, unfortunately, spending the Holidaze apart. We have made the joint decision to NEVER, EVER, DO THIS AGAIN. Even if we travel separately, we will spend the holiday together....
CHRISTMAS
Ahhh the Great Southwest....yeah...right.... While signifigantly warmer than the home front, it rained for the first week we were here. And then it never got quite warm enough..... Desert damp is different from Midwest damp. It lingers longer... I've been here almost three weeks now, and it's only really been warm enough to enjoy outside for 2 or three days. ....
Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of..."As The Clueless Carry On"
Since I've been absent for darn near 30 days, we'll keep the recap short and sweet. Heaven knows that no one wants to listen to me babble for hours... I believe we left off right before Thanksgiving.
THANKSGIVING--
2 turkeys, 2 different kinds of dressing, 2 kinds of potatoes, 2 weeks of furious housecleaning, 15 people, 5 of which I like, 10 of which I don't, 2 fags, 1 recovering alcoholic, 1 eight week old puppy, 1 Eggroll, 4 other kids, 2 sets of parents allergic to disciplining the 4 children, Flipper holding court in his chair..(then there was the complaining that my family room doesn't seat enough people) 'Nuff said??? Good......moving on.....
POST-THANKSGIVING
At least one week was spent in recovery from the Thanksgiving meal. One of the great mysteries in my life is "where the hell does all this stuff go??" My house regularly burps up enough entertaining gear for a White House dinner, then refuses to accept the return of said gear. When it finally does accept the returns, there's a whole "get even" thing, which is why, no matter how many I buy, I never have more than 9 of anything...placemats, napkins, glasses...nine, apparently, is my homes lucky number....
The week was also spent holding my breath. Flipper and friends were scheduled to depart for the Great Southwest on the 13th of December. If you've hung around here for a while, then you know the airlines will not board the friends unless the ground temp is higher than 20 degrees. The week before his departure was bitterly cold. I made contingency plans, they involved 2 friends, one Eggroll, a fag, and Vanbo..... didn't sound like a vacation to me. Flipper being the clueless soul that he is thought it would be a fabulous idea to bring "all" the friends down since I was driving anyway... so let's see...that makes...Skinny, Minnie, Spinner, Swooper, Eggroll, Nyt, 1 fag, 1800 miles, and Vanbo...I gently reminded Flipper that Vanbo is a MINI-van, not a tour bus....and then my hair fell out.
Since Flipper is such a lucky guy, departure day was a balmly 36 degrees... I finally exhaled several hours after I dropped him off....
Of course the next several days were spent prepping Eggroll and myself for departure. Due to circumstances beyond our control (two busted eyes and one take-out pick-up...) Himself was out of days for the year, and we were, unfortunately, spending the Holidaze apart. We have made the joint decision to NEVER, EVER, DO THIS AGAIN. Even if we travel separately, we will spend the holiday together....
CHRISTMAS
Ahhh the Great Southwest....yeah...right.... While signifigantly warmer than the home front, it rained for the first week we were here. And then it never got quite warm enough..... Desert damp is different from Midwest damp. It lingers longer... I've been here almost three weeks now, and it's only really been warm enough to enjoy outside for 2 or three days. ....
Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of..."As The Clueless Carry On"
Friday, December 05, 2008
The One About Everyday
This is one of those posts that was sitting unfinished...
I thought it was funny anyway...
Before you begin this entry dear readers, I want you to understand that I love my husband and my child more than life itself. This entry is about "the funny". Because there are those days that can only be looked at that way.......
My house contains at any given time, myself, Nyt, my husband, Himself, our child, Eggroll, and our pets...Spinner, Swooper and Miss Thing. Swooper is the newest addition and at 9 weeks old, he's already turning this place upside down.
Let us begin....
4:25AM- Awake to a full bladder and a chilly room. Silently curse the ass that said 40 was the new 30. Attempt to creep silently past Swooper's cage into the bathroom. Realize that I'm missing a sock and the bathroom floor is damn cold.
4:26AM- Relieve myself and then decide against flushing (wouldn't want to wake Swooper)
4:27AM- Creep back to bed. Realize that Spinner is not going to relinquish any blankets. Search for alternate blanket.
4:28AM- Blanket located.
4:40AM- Decide that sleep is futile
4:45AM- Give up the ghost and set sights on an uninterrupted shower
4:46AM- Plan of uninterrupted shower thwarted by squeaking Swooper
4:47 AM- Close bedroom door and release Swooper from kennel. Discover that Miss Thing is on the wrong side of the door as pitiful mewling begins.
4:48AM- Drop newspaper on floor. Swooper misses newspaper by mere inches..
4:49AM- Wash floor
4:55AM- Throw self into shower. Accomplish clean in a record 10 minutes.
5:05AM- Head for dresser and clean underwear..step in warm Swooper pee
5:06AM- Wash feet
5:08AM- Wash floor
5:10AM-Apply make-up and do hair while chasing Swooper and removing stray stuff from his mouth. Swear silently as Spinner snuggles into the covers and emits a deep sigh. Pray that I'm not mistaken for a clown....
5:20 AM- Head downstairs to take dogs outside and make coffee. Realize that it is somewhere around 15 degrees out. Before jacket is even zipped, Swooper pees again.
5:21AM- Ignore pee and stand outside in snow and wind begging tiny dog to "go potty outside"
5:27AM- Wash floor
5:30AM- Reach coffeepot. Shed tears of joy
5:35AM- Himself reaches the kitchen and announces "I would have taken the dogs out.."
5:36AM- Contemplate murder....
5:37AM- Collect dogs, dog toys, cigarettes and lighter. Settle into chair for morning coffee, smoke and news.
5:40AM- Eggroll awake and calling for Daddy. Remind Himself that 5:40 in the morning is not an acceptable time for any child to get up. Ask that he take her potty and put her back in bed.
5:45AM- Himself returns from upstairs announcing "mission accomplished". Himself departs for work.
5:56 to 6:15AM- Swill coffee and puff cigarettes throughout early newscast.
6:16 to 6:30AM- Develop plan for the day. Realize that there is little or no food in the house. Figure on hitting two grocery stores before lunch. Decide to make list.
6:31AM- Find a Swooper poop on the way to get paper for grocery list.
6:32AM- Wash floor
6:35AM- Collect pets for another potty trip to the frozen tundra. Once again, Swooper pees before my jacket is even on.
6:36 to 6:44AM- Stand outside in freezing cold and snow waiting for tiny dog to "potty outside"
6:45AM- Wash floor
6:48AM- Prepare Eggroll's breakfast along with Swooper's.
This is one of those posts that was sitting unfinished...
I thought it was funny anyway...
Before you begin this entry dear readers, I want you to understand that I love my husband and my child more than life itself. This entry is about "the funny". Because there are those days that can only be looked at that way.......
My house contains at any given time, myself, Nyt, my husband, Himself, our child, Eggroll, and our pets...Spinner, Swooper and Miss Thing. Swooper is the newest addition and at 9 weeks old, he's already turning this place upside down.
Let us begin....
4:25AM- Awake to a full bladder and a chilly room. Silently curse the ass that said 40 was the new 30. Attempt to creep silently past Swooper's cage into the bathroom. Realize that I'm missing a sock and the bathroom floor is damn cold.
4:26AM- Relieve myself and then decide against flushing (wouldn't want to wake Swooper)
4:27AM- Creep back to bed. Realize that Spinner is not going to relinquish any blankets. Search for alternate blanket.
4:28AM- Blanket located.
4:40AM- Decide that sleep is futile
4:45AM- Give up the ghost and set sights on an uninterrupted shower
4:46AM- Plan of uninterrupted shower thwarted by squeaking Swooper
4:47 AM- Close bedroom door and release Swooper from kennel. Discover that Miss Thing is on the wrong side of the door as pitiful mewling begins.
4:48AM- Drop newspaper on floor. Swooper misses newspaper by mere inches..
4:49AM- Wash floor
4:55AM- Throw self into shower. Accomplish clean in a record 10 minutes.
5:05AM- Head for dresser and clean underwear..step in warm Swooper pee
5:06AM- Wash feet
5:08AM- Wash floor
5:10AM-Apply make-up and do hair while chasing Swooper and removing stray stuff from his mouth. Swear silently as Spinner snuggles into the covers and emits a deep sigh. Pray that I'm not mistaken for a clown....
5:20 AM- Head downstairs to take dogs outside and make coffee. Realize that it is somewhere around 15 degrees out. Before jacket is even zipped, Swooper pees again.
5:21AM- Ignore pee and stand outside in snow and wind begging tiny dog to "go potty outside"
5:27AM- Wash floor
5:30AM- Reach coffeepot. Shed tears of joy
5:35AM- Himself reaches the kitchen and announces "I would have taken the dogs out.."
5:36AM- Contemplate murder....
5:37AM- Collect dogs, dog toys, cigarettes and lighter. Settle into chair for morning coffee, smoke and news.
5:40AM- Eggroll awake and calling for Daddy. Remind Himself that 5:40 in the morning is not an acceptable time for any child to get up. Ask that he take her potty and put her back in bed.
5:45AM- Himself returns from upstairs announcing "mission accomplished". Himself departs for work.
5:56 to 6:15AM- Swill coffee and puff cigarettes throughout early newscast.
6:16 to 6:30AM- Develop plan for the day. Realize that there is little or no food in the house. Figure on hitting two grocery stores before lunch. Decide to make list.
6:31AM- Find a Swooper poop on the way to get paper for grocery list.
6:32AM- Wash floor
6:35AM- Collect pets for another potty trip to the frozen tundra. Once again, Swooper pees before my jacket is even on.
6:36 to 6:44AM- Stand outside in freezing cold and snow waiting for tiny dog to "potty outside"
6:45AM- Wash floor
6:48AM- Prepare Eggroll's breakfast along with Swooper's.
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Friday, November 07, 2008
The One Where I Collect Scattered Thoughts
In no particular order.....
* I received a call from both the auto hospital and the insurance adjuster yesterday. Vanbo has some internal damage (nothing we didn't expect). The auto hospital wanted me to know that they've already received the supplement, and the parts are on order. The insurance adjuster not only told me the same thing, but also extended the rental for the ugliest van in America for another five days. The signifigance of all of this??? ACTUAL CUSTOMER SERVICE! And I didn't have to yell, beg or threaten anyone.....
* The breeder sent photos of the three pups we have to choose from. After Himself and I rated our choices, I phoned Flipper and asked him to stop by. One must understand that to get Flipper to stop by and take a look at anything other than the Eggroll is a monumental task. When I said "puppies" he altered his schedule immediately. When he showed up he immediately went hunting for my computer. I bought up the photos, he pointed to the screen uttered "I want that one", asked if the Eggroll was home and then was gone as quick as he came...FYI, Flipper's ratings and Himself's were exactly the same...I think its a conspiracy..
* House of Nyt is undergoing the pre-holiday cleaning ritual. This is the time of the year where I drive Himself insane.... he and my OCD don't always get along. Funny thing is, as much hell as he gives me for my freakish cleaning tendencies. (he continually reminds me that my "dirty" is the rest of the world's clean), he's the first person to be apalled at someone else's dirty house. Several times during the trick-or-treating ritual, he would lean over and whisper to me..."Did you see the inside of that house?? Can you believe people live that way??" Yeah...embrace the OCD Mr. Man....embrace the OCD.
* Anyone else apalled over Prop 8?? Really?? So much for embracing change....
* I'm finding it hilariously funny that there are a few polls out there that advocate a pit bull as the Presidential Puppy. I've got nothing against the breed, but really....stereotype much???
* My Wad died.... minds out of the gutter folks, the Wad was a fish. We developed an odd attachment to one another..he would actually eat off of my finger. Strange to think that fish may actually have personalities. Anyhow, he gave up the ghost after close to 9 years...
Thattttt'ss allll fffollkksss!
* I received a call from both the auto hospital and the insurance adjuster yesterday. Vanbo has some internal damage (nothing we didn't expect). The auto hospital wanted me to know that they've already received the supplement, and the parts are on order. The insurance adjuster not only told me the same thing, but also extended the rental for the ugliest van in America for another five days. The signifigance of all of this??? ACTUAL CUSTOMER SERVICE! And I didn't have to yell, beg or threaten anyone.....
* The breeder sent photos of the three pups we have to choose from. After Himself and I rated our choices, I phoned Flipper and asked him to stop by. One must understand that to get Flipper to stop by and take a look at anything other than the Eggroll is a monumental task. When I said "puppies" he altered his schedule immediately. When he showed up he immediately went hunting for my computer. I bought up the photos, he pointed to the screen uttered "I want that one", asked if the Eggroll was home and then was gone as quick as he came...FYI, Flipper's ratings and Himself's were exactly the same...I think its a conspiracy..
* House of Nyt is undergoing the pre-holiday cleaning ritual. This is the time of the year where I drive Himself insane.... he and my OCD don't always get along. Funny thing is, as much hell as he gives me for my freakish cleaning tendencies. (he continually reminds me that my "dirty" is the rest of the world's clean), he's the first person to be apalled at someone else's dirty house. Several times during the trick-or-treating ritual, he would lean over and whisper to me..."Did you see the inside of that house?? Can you believe people live that way??" Yeah...embrace the OCD Mr. Man....embrace the OCD.
* Anyone else apalled over Prop 8?? Really?? So much for embracing change....
* I'm finding it hilariously funny that there are a few polls out there that advocate a pit bull as the Presidential Puppy. I've got nothing against the breed, but really....stereotype much???
* My Wad died.... minds out of the gutter folks, the Wad was a fish. We developed an odd attachment to one another..he would actually eat off of my finger. Strange to think that fish may actually have personalities. Anyhow, he gave up the ghost after close to 9 years...
Thattttt'ss allll fffollkksss!
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
The One About People, Politics and Pets
So, today's the day folks. Time to stand in line, cast your ballot and make your voice heard. I intend to drop Eggroll off at "school" and then off to the polls. The rest of the day will be determined by how long I have to stand in line. Laundry could actually get done if the lines are short....
In other political news, the issue of media bias has been bandied about lately and it reminds me of a conversation that I had with our translator in China. Just as communism is foreign to us, democracy is foreign to them. The conversation had turned to the press and the media, and the fact that all media in China is controlled by the government. He asked me how tightly controlled our media is, and I had to give him an answer that surprised even me. I told him that our media was just as controlled as the Chinese media, only in a different way. While their media is controlled overtly by the government, ours is controlled by the almighty dollar. Their media swings whichever way the government does, ours follows the money. Neither provides a "whole" picture of any issue. As the close of the presidential election approaches, I'm truly saddened that so many people just accept this as what "is". It's not just that my candidate will more than likely be on the losing end of the run, it's that people all over the world will stand and fight for freedom of speech, and a free media and Americans, sheeple that they are, will merely accept whatever that 15 second sound byte tells them. They suspect nothing if all the sound bytes are the same either. It must be true because the television told me so...
In other news, yesterday found me tackling the disaster zone that was our garage. Seriously, where the hell did all that stuff come from?? I still have to scrub out the fridge out there, but for the most part, all is done. Of course, it turned out to be an all day project....ewww!
I had the Spinner outside with me all day. I have a long line attached to a tree and he spent most of the day lazing about.
In other political news, the issue of media bias has been bandied about lately and it reminds me of a conversation that I had with our translator in China. Just as communism is foreign to us, democracy is foreign to them. The conversation had turned to the press and the media, and the fact that all media in China is controlled by the government. He asked me how tightly controlled our media is, and I had to give him an answer that surprised even me. I told him that our media was just as controlled as the Chinese media, only in a different way. While their media is controlled overtly by the government, ours is controlled by the almighty dollar. Their media swings whichever way the government does, ours follows the money. Neither provides a "whole" picture of any issue. As the close of the presidential election approaches, I'm truly saddened that so many people just accept this as what "is". It's not just that my candidate will more than likely be on the losing end of the run, it's that people all over the world will stand and fight for freedom of speech, and a free media and Americans, sheeple that they are, will merely accept whatever that 15 second sound byte tells them. They suspect nothing if all the sound bytes are the same either. It must be true because the television told me so...
In other news, yesterday found me tackling the disaster zone that was our garage. Seriously, where the hell did all that stuff come from?? I still have to scrub out the fridge out there, but for the most part, all is done. Of course, it turned out to be an all day project....ewww!
I had the Spinner outside with me all day. I have a long line attached to a tree and he spent most of the day lazing about.
I'm not one of those pet owners who allow their pets to wander about. The Spinner is a hunting dog, and all it takes is one second for things to go horribly wrong. He spent the day lazing about, chewing his bone and chasing the occasional leaf that blew by. 
This one makes me especially proud. You see, when indoors, the Spinner will bark like a maniac when he sees anyone on the street. Yesterday my really good dog uttered a muted "woof" when confronted with small children walking the street. A triumph! As with any and all triumphs, there is also a downside. And the downside happened because of my addled brain. You see, before being absorbed into the House of Nyt, the Spinner was a show dog. A show dog that was trained to NEVER RELIEVE HIMSELF WHILE ON A CHAIN. I forgot that part, and the poor animal darn near exploded when I finally let him loose in the backyard... I'm hoping he'll forgive me.....
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