The One About Stuff That Irks Me

At the risk of pissing off veterans everywhere, I'm going to share my thoughts on a recent PSA.... take a look...

I'm going to start off here by saying that I'm grateful to all our vets for their service. You all have seen and done things that I hope I never have to and you deserve many thanks for your service.

That being said, let's talk about your service shall we?? The gentleman in the above ad states;
"When I signed on with the National Guard, I did it to help protect America from our enemies, like in the Persian Gulf...Not to clean up an oil company's mess here in the Gulf of Mexico"

First of all my friend, you signed on to the National Guard...you are not regular military. You are activated by your states governor first and then you may be called to federal service as a supplement to regular military. You are routinely called to service during an "official state of emergency"

The current oil spill in the gulf? State of emergency. To suggest that somehow it's not your job but you'll do what you're told is insulting to both those who make a career of military service and to the taxpayers who fund you.

Tornados, hurricanes, floods and the like certainly aren't the stuff of our "enemies" but the Guard is routinely activated to assist in those situations. I'm pretty sure that there's no security risk to a tornado ravaged town in East Podunk.

I get absolutely nuts when folks deem helping "beneath" them. And in this case you're not really "helping" out of the goodness of your heart are you? You're helping because you were ordered to and you're helping because you're being paid to do so. Let's be honest...

No "clean energy" initiative is going to go anywhere if you're going to rely on people's identifying with your sense of entitlement. The folks who don't identify with you won't even give you the time of day (that would be me) and those that do identify with your sense of entitlement will scurry away as soon as something shiny distracts them...

Just my two cents...

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The One About Racism and Criticism

This little gem lives on the back of Vanbo. I vehemently disagree with the current administration and I'm open and willing to discuss that with anyone who would like to. I do not shout my opinion from the rooftops, I do not carry a sign, I do not pass out leaflets. I have a fairly innocuous bumper sticker on the back of my "mom van".

I've formed my opinions by researching topics, I've read HR3200 and the Cap and Trade bill. I read articles everyday from both sides of the debate, and I do my best to consider both sides of any issue. If you ask me a question about a topic, I want to be the person who can not only comment on that topic, but explain "why" I stand in the place I do. I'm happy to listen and engage in any debate, comfortable in knowing that I stand where I do based on reason and logic.

With that in mind, I'm amazed at the reaction this little bumper sticker garners...

The first time it happened was in the Costco parking lot. I had the Eggroll in the cart and was just tossing the last of the purchases in the back of Vanbo, when a couple approached me and offered to take my cart. As I moved to take Eggroll from the cart's seat, the bumper sticker became fully visible.

"You don't like President Obama?" the woman queried.

"No, I'm not sure "like" has anything to do with it, I don't agree with his policies."

"You're just a racist!" the woman scolded. I gazed at the small Asian kid on my hip and then back to her. She stammered for a second before replying "You just don't like black people!"

Oddly enough, they took my cart anyway....

The next time it happened was in the parking lot of our local Wally World. Now I despise Wally World, but my optometrist is there and I love him...so I suffer... As I'm exiting Vanbo, I'm approached by two women. I hadn't even closed the door before I heard "You don't support our President?"

"I support the office of President, but I disagree with the agenda our current President is advocating."

"You're just a racist, you don't like our President because he's black."

"No" I sighed, "I don't agree with him because of his agenda, and I'm a conservative, not a racist"

"You think you're entitled to everything, driving your fancy car (really!?! a mom van is fancy?) and living in your happy little suburb...." There were other cries, but the next thing I remember is the sound of throat clearing and the giant loogie headed my way..

The loogie missed me, and I was out of words for the first time in a long time. The women sauntered away and I stood there for a moment in total disbelief. This is what we've become.

A few years ago, this would have ended differently. A few years ago, the above incident would have ended with the business end of my shoe, or perhaps a tire iron. It's different now, I'm older, wiser, and I have more to lose in this life. I won't rise to the bait.

The common thread in both of these incidences? Both times I (a white woman) was approached by people of color. After the second incident I texted a friend and told her what happened. I also asked if she thought what happened to me was a hate crime. She did, and she encouraged me to call the police. I passed. I had no wish to be on the side of any kind of race crime. Because it's not about that... It's about people's complete lack of civility, it's about people's inability to endure anyone else's opinion but their own. It's about the right to think or speak freely without fear of retribution.

That's right, I said fear. How are we, as a society, going to reach any kind of compromise if we attack one another for a thought or opinion? And how are we ever going to eliminate racisim, when that very kind of behavior encourages people to widen the gap, to cross the street, to ignore the other side. I don't consider myself a racist. Critic? Yes. Racist? No.

But I'm beginning to understand exactly how it happens....


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The One About Stuff I Don't Get

 

 

 

There's a whole bunch of stuff in this life that I'll never understand...

 

* Why the Chocolate Jesus feels the need to have a press conference EVERY SINGLE DAY! For the love of God man, campaign season is over! And furthermore, no matter how often you try and sell a used car, it's still a USED CAR! You can call it whatever you want, you can try and wrap it in pretty paper, it's still a BAD IDEA!

 

* Why people think they're doing my kid a favor when they feed her arbitrarily. My child has a eating disorder, it's documented and we're seeing therapists for it. But somehow, folks just think it's a great thing to feed her whatever, whenever, without asking. Seriously, you'll ask me if it's alright to feed my dog, but you won't ask me about feeding my kid??

 

* What the hell happened to the grown men in my life. Flipper had his annual golf outing, which seemed to turn into nothing but a geriatric frat party. Complete with unconcious party goers, house damage and peeing in the pond... we shall not discuss the age of the participants...

* Why the Swooper eats EVERYTHING. You name it, this dog will attempt to eat it. Wood, paper, plastic, heck, I even caught him with a mouthful of steel wool (that was a C-note worth of X-rays). Perhaps I should send him to therapy with the Eggroll.

* What happened to summer in the Midwest? Sure, now that we replaced the airconditioner, it hasn't gone above 80 in what seems like weeks. On the plus side, we may be able to try out the new furnace since it's dropping into the 50's at night...

* Where the time goes. The Eggroll has now been with us for a little over a year. Parenting still hasn't gotten any easier... LOL!

* Where have all the manners gone? Is there a "manners graveyard" somewhere? Does anyone have directions??

* Why companies are against rewarding customers. Recently, our local cable company offered a sweet deal for new customers. The deal would have shaved almost $60 a month off of our current bill. They won't let us have it, but they've been generous enough to offer us $5 a month off of our current bill. Gee that's swell (insert sarcasm here) You would think that in these tough times that companies would be just as concerned about retention as they are about getting new clients...

* Why it is that folks with "oddities" find it necessary to slap photos of themselves everywhere. Are you unaware of your one wonky eye?? Has no one told you? I'm now no longer reading your posts, I'm staring at the wonky eye. You could be writing earth-shattering revelations and I'm going to miss them because of the wonky eye. Please stop.

*Why every one is an "expert". I'm thinking that the recent, home-grown gradute of UC Berkely is not quite the health care "expert" he's been labeled. Acne treatments do not qualify you as an "expert"

I know, I could have done better... it's not like I haven't had months to work on a decent post... I'll try harder next time...

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The One That May Or May Not Be True

"Wait for meeeee......."

It's a cry heard often on playgrounds, in backyards, on streets, and in homes across the country and around the world. In any language, in any place, the cry is universal. As a matter of fact, you don't even need to speak the language to understand the meaning, you know the sound and you've felt the feeling yourself. Everyone has at one time or another. Everyone at one time or the other, has been the one uttering the plaintive wail.

"Wait for meeeee......"

As parents, we dread the day when our child is the child uttering the wail. We know it will happen, as sure as the sun will rise in the morning, our kid will be the kid left behind at least once in their lives. When it happens, we soothe the offended child. We tell them that they are worthwhile, we tell them that they are valuable, we tell them that we love them. We tell them that every person has value. We tell them that evey human being has something worthwhile within them. Once the wailing has subsided, we tell them to remember this feeling. We tell them to remember so that they won't make someone else feel as bad as they do right now.

"Wait for meeee......"

Inevitably, it will come to pass when our child will be the child who leaves someone behind. And our hearts hurts. Our hearts hurt not only for the child who has been left behind, but for our own child, the one who has done the leaving, because we never wanted them to be burdened with the guilt of hurting another, and we try to teach the lesson once again. We tell them to "bring enough for the whole class" and "how did you feel when that happened to you?". Perhaps we choose another route, perhaps we try and teach them about endurance. We say things like "just play one game with him/her, then you can be on your way." Maybe we go with bribery "if you stop that, I'll get you..." And we hope it doesn't happen again, but we know it will...

"Wait for meeeee...."

As our children age and travel through school and friends, we hear the wail from time to time. Whether it's our child doing the wailing or someone else's, it still hurts our hearts. We still hope that our child will be the child who "gets it". We hope our child is the child who will stand up.

"Wait for meeee...."

It's not so simple for our children, especially as they live their lives outside of our direct control, outside of our sphere of influence. Instead of our approval, they seek the approval of their friends. They seek the acceptance of the "crowd". They seek to be part of the pack. They fear the pack turning on them should they be the ones to stand up, should they be the one who hears the wail, who feels the wail.

"Wait for meeeee....."

We wonder when our children will feel their own power. We wonder when "pack" approval will no longer matter, we pray that that day comes sooner rather than later. Sadly, we know in our hearts that it will never come for some. We hope with all our might that the "some" is actually "some other kid". We hope that we are the example not the lesson. We continue to hope. As we listen the the explanations, the excuses, we continue to hope that our child won't be the child who is responsible for the wail.

"Wait for meeeee..."

For those who's child is the wailer we fervently hope that they discover their power as well. We hope that they learn how to stand up, we hope that they learn to shout....

"Don't wait for meeee..."

The One About Stuff That Makes Me Twitch

Stuff that makes me twitch...

The utility folks who are replacing a line outside. An underground line. It started last week when I looked out the kitchen window to see Utility dude violently shoving my back gate. Yes, that's right the BACK gate. The one with a padlock on it. The one that has a huge "Beware of Dog" sign on it. The one that's not going to open. I opened the window and started politely with "Sir, the gate is locked for a reason, you're welcome to come around to the other side." I was acknowledged with a nod and as soon as I left the window, Utility Dude started in on the gate again. I had to wake Himself up to handle the situation. Much to my chagrin, after all of Utility Dude's hard work, the rain took away the paint markings, and the Swooper brought in all the little flags...Doh!

Today, Utility Dude returned with all his little friends. Once again, gate shoving ensued. Seriously, is there some kind of vision or comprehension test these folks have to take?? And if there is, why are all the flunkies at my house? So now, Utility Dude drives around to the correct side of the yard. And rings the doorbell, which activates the dogs, which activates the child who is supposed to be napping.... Then, I ask UD politely, if he would skip the whole flag part and kindly just use the paint. I explain that the smaller dog just pulls them out anyway... Five minutes later, what's in my yard??? FLAGS!! When I pointed it out, UD said he "forgot". Really?? So there's no memory test involved with this job either...BTW after this UD informs me that they probably won't be in my yard at all, it appears that all the digging will take place in my neighbors yard.

Which is probably a signal that my entire yard will be decimated forthwith....

Le Sigh....

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The One About Being Punished for Playing By The Rules


Yet another unfinished post sitting in draft

I've never been particularly shy. Most folks that know me will tell you that the previous sentence is an understatement. And I've never been particularly PC. Also an understatement. If you're one of those easily offended types, move on now... I'm not interested in intentionally offending everyone..

The "Octomom" is the topic of much conversation as of late. 14 children, all through IVF, all under the age of 7, all, in one form or another, on the dole. I can't even begin to express how nauseous the entire situation makes me. Every one of these children should be taken from this woman, her parental rights need to be terminated immediately and ideally, she should be jailed. Yes, that's right, I said take her kids and slap her ass in jail. Never mind the idiot doctor that did the procedures in the first place. Fertility treatments are a for profit business. The medical moron did the job he was paid to do.

It infuriates me that there are folks out there who scrimp and save, pinch and plan, just to be able to have a single child. And then you have Nadya...the woman who not only brought into the world 6 children she couldn't possibly afford, but then 8 more?? Who in the world has the ability to care for 14 children? By themselves??

This is not a family like the Duggars (who, BTW, I think are plain old bat-shit crazy) Their 18 kids are spread out over the course of 15 years or so, and, they are totally self-sufficient. They made their choices, lived by their decisions and rely on no one but themselves. I think it's crazy, but I can't argue with it.

Speaking of decisions... I'm going for the totally inappropriate here... but I'm going for the gorilla in the room.... Whenever I see one of these litter dropping women, they answer the whole selective reduction question with the same basic answer "it's God's will that I have these kids". Really?? What about the not getting pregnant in the first place thing?? Wasn't that God's will too?? Oh wait, the medical technology thing solved that problem for you and that was alright?? Just what to you apply God's will to anyway?? Is it everything, just some stuff, what you want....where's the line?? I know I'm a lapsed Catholic and everything, but I'm thinking that there might be a flaw in your whole interpretation thing.

So, the litter arrives and suddenly these women are cause celebre. Now we subjected to the "Madonna" moms... you know the ones, they're holy, they're pious, they're totally devoted to their children... and they're expecting rewards. At the very least they want applause... and the rest, well the rest they claim is just people being kind.

The One About People, Politics and Pets

So, today's the day folks. Time to stand in line, cast your ballot and make your voice heard. I intend to drop Eggroll off at "school" and then off to the polls. The rest of the day will be determined by how long I have to stand in line. Laundry could actually get done if the lines are short....

In other political news, the issue of media bias has been bandied about lately and it reminds me of a conversation that I had with our translator in China. Just as communism is foreign to us, democracy is foreign to them. The conversation had turned to the press and the media, and the fact that all media in China is controlled by the government. He asked me how tightly controlled our media is, and I had to give him an answer that surprised even me. I told him that our media was just as controlled as the Chinese media, only in a different way. While their media is controlled overtly by the government, ours is controlled by the almighty dollar. Their media swings whichever way the government does, ours follows the money. Neither provides a "whole" picture of any issue. As the close of the presidential election approaches, I'm truly saddened that so many people just accept this as what "is". It's not just that my candidate will more than likely be on the losing end of the run, it's that people all over the world will stand and fight for freedom of speech, and a free media and Americans, sheeple that they are, will merely accept whatever that 15 second sound byte tells them. They suspect nothing if all the sound bytes are the same either. It must be true because the television told me so...

In other news, yesterday found me tackling the disaster zone that was our garage. Seriously, where the hell did all that stuff come from?? I still have to scrub out the fridge out there, but for the most part, all is done. Of course, it turned out to be an all day project....ewww!

I had the Spinner outside with me all day. I have a long line attached to a tree and he spent most of the day lazing about.

I'm not one of those pet owners who allow their pets to wander about. The Spinner is a hunting dog, and all it takes is one second for things to go horribly wrong. He spent the day lazing about, chewing his bone and chasing the occasional leaf that blew by.


This one makes me especially proud. You see, when indoors, the Spinner will bark like a maniac when he sees anyone on the street. Yesterday my really good dog uttered a muted "woof" when confronted with small children walking the street. A triumph! As with any and all triumphs, there is also a downside. And the downside happened because of my addled brain. You see, before being absorbed into the House of Nyt, the Spinner was a show dog. A show dog that was trained to NEVER RELIEVE HIMSELF WHILE ON A CHAIN. I forgot that part, and the poor animal darn near exploded when I finally let him loose in the backyard... I'm hoping he'll forgive me.....

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The One About My Brain and the "Boom"

I would like to remove my brain from my skull and wash it off. It seems to be rather dusty as of late. Disorganized, forgetting things...nothing a good cleaning wouldn't fix.

Halloween started out with a "boom", literally. While Eggroll and I were on the way to the grocery store, a rather large Ram decided to introduce itself to Vanbo. One loud crunch and a shower of glass later, my child looked at me in the rearview mirror, said "boom", and went right back to watching Blues Clues on the DVD player. How wonderful to be a child! Meanwhile, Vanbo suffered a crushed rear door and a blown out rear window. Nothing a couple of weeks in the auto hospital can't fix. However, most of Halloween was taken up by telephone calls, adjusters, estimates and rental agencies. Vanbo has been replaced with a Ram cousin, and so far, everything has gone rather swimmingly. And of course, because it was Halloween, we had plenty of chocolate.....that always makes things easier...

This is the week where Eggroll will spend most of day at "school". Because of the upcoming holidaze, and the approach of inclement weather, and Himself's work schedule, it has been determined that in order to get anything done...the Eggroll needs to be away from the House of Nyt. I hate to do it in one way, but she does love "school" so, and if I wait any longer the work will take twice as long. Of course, my brain did screw-up....I told the center director that she would be there for the whole week, completely forgetting that she has therapy on Tuesday and Thursday.... le sigh! I will have to admit my idiocy in public and rearrange her schedule and mine.

Because of Friday's little problem, I was forced to do my grocery shopping on Saturday. May I say that I was quite gracious on Friday, but Saturday...in the grocery store...I was positively homicidal. Who are all these people, and when did manners become optional??? Seriously, is it just me or is half of society raising packs of wolves? Are people just numb?? Let me just say for the record that if I would have had a cattle prod, things might have gone differently...

I hear movement....must run.....

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The One About Family and Frustration

Ahhhh, the holidaze....They're approaching rapidly aren't they? Every year around here, the holidaze bring about a multitude of problems. Some are solvable, some, not so much. Almost all of them revolve around family.

For those of you that know me, you're probably aware that I have a pretty shitty family. With the exception of Flipper, the rest of them pretty much suck. Hard.

Over the years the tension within the family grew and flourished. If I told you most of it was over money, would you be surprised? It's long and complicated but suffice it to say it revolves around the fact that although Flipper has been with me since I was nine years old, I'm not "legitimate" in their eyes. And now it's passing through to the next generation. And that's just one side of the "family"

On the other side? Well, let's just say that they'll show up, they'll take interest you when you write a check, other than that? Not so much.

Himself's family? Pretty much non-existent. His older sister is wrapped up in her religion and her own family. His younger sister?? Well let's just say that "teh crazy" really is a sexually transmitted disease... We never hear from them. Perhaps they too, feel that we're not a "legitimate" family...I'm an "other" wife, so maybe that's where their primary problem lies. (BTW, I don't remember actually doing anything to offend them. I'm from the camp that says I can't fix it if you don't tell me what "it" is)

Moving on.....

The Holidaze involve dealing with my family, both side A (Flipper's) and side B (mine). First we'll deal with side A. The A side will be here for Thanksgiving. I do this every year because it makes Flipper happy. Even though at some level he realizes that his family sucks, they are still his family and in some peculiar way, it makes him happy to have them here. It causes a load of stress that can only be tolerated with controlled outbursts of rage and OCD. Some of the "things" that have been said and or done over the years?

"Arrogant" tells me that I must be gone from my family home so that he and his girlfriend can romp in the Jacuzzi. I protest..he tells me that "it doesn't matter what you think, all this will be mine anyway when Flipper dies" He never saw the shovel coming....he refused medical treatment....

"Disturbed" asks me to stand up in her wedding. I agree (it makes Flipper happy) It costs me more than $500.00 to do so. The wedding is out of town. I'm housed away from the rest of the wedding party. I'm uninvited to the wedding party festivities, I drive myself to and from the church and reception.

"Piggy" tells me that "Your husband won't be excited over your adoption, he's had "real" children"

I asked "Disturbed" to do a reading at Momma's funeral. (in fairness, she was my very last choice) She accepts and then assaults me with the statement "We never got to know Flipper because your mother was such a bitch"

These are but a few examples of what has transpired over the years. The hardest part for me is to put on the "happy face". I want to be a good person, I really do. I want Flipper to have everything that makes him happy for as long as he's on this Earth. But I also want peace in my own home. I want peace for my daughter and husband. I want home to be a safe place, and letting these people in my home risks safety. One never knows what they may say or do... the anticipation of disaster causes unbelievable amounts of stress.

My counter for all of this... is that everything must be "perfect"... and my "perfect" is generally over and above everyone else's perfect... Anyone seeing my problem here??

Most days I can give up life's difficulties to the universe and move on... Holidaze? I give them up to the OCD monster and anger...and I don't know how to make it stop while making everyone happy at the same time......

Le Sigh.....

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The One That Fascinates and Repulses All At Once

Seriously!?! A children's book?!? At my local warehouse store?!? So much for the innocence of the young....

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The One Where I Babble Incoherently

All the news and views that you can use....or maybe not...

• VP debate? Rocked! Sarah held her own and it seems as though it worked. For right now the press seems to be leaving her "experience and knowledge" thing alone
• Last nights presidential debate? Kind of stinky. I was hoping to a true "town hall" forum. What I got was a bunch of distilled questions. Meh!
• Anyone else freaking out about the whole mortgage rescue thing? The very idea that the federal government is going to renegotiate principal based on current market value makes my hair stand on end. Way to screw the folks that did it "right". Let's take a look at just what that means. You, and your neighbor each bought a 500k home two years ago. You did it by the book, your neighbor got in way over his head. You're paying your 300k mortgage, he's not paying his 500k mortgage. Meanwhile, your elected officials have decided that your neighbor needs to stay in his home, so his mortgage is reduced to current market value...let's say 400k..and records it as such. You are now out 100k in equity and oh yes, you'll still have to pay your 300k with interest. When the market recovers (and it will), your neighbor will make an extra 100k... I should have bought a bigger house...
• I currently believe that one should be given a lifetime supply of KY when registering to vote.
• The Eggroll is now negotiating the "twos". Fortunately she only has another 6 months or so and then "two" is over.
• How is it that a small child can hold an entire dinner in her mouth for AN HOUR without swallowing??
• Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I cannot stay away from the cookies in the kitchen?
• My child now calls for Gammaw when faced with doing something she does not want to do. My mother warned me that she would stick around....apparently...she has.
• No, she's not trying to say Gampaw...she says that very clearly...
• Puppy arriving shortly before Thanksgiving. If anyone is keeping score that means Shit That Will Make Nyt Insane -17 Nyt Not Requiring Medication -0
• Airfare to the great Southwest has exploded.
• Is it worth $400 to keep my kid from missing 3 appointments with the speech therapist instead of two?
• Why is it that I rise at 5:30 every morning and I don't even have a job?
• Given the current market conditions, Eggroll will have to rely on our public school system.
• That pisses me off
• It brings tears to my eyes to see the love affair that Flipper has with the Eggroll, and vice versa.

This concludes today's incoherent ramblings.....

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The One Where I Realize I'm Not As Smart As I Think I Am

So this morning, the Senate passed the "new and improved" bailout bill. Or to be more precise and pleasant... the "rescue" package. Or to quote a pundit "Porkapalooza". Tax breaks for wooden arrow manufacturers?? Seriously??

Now, I consider myself fairly well read. And with all the hullabaloo surrounding the current presidential race, I though I was doing pretty well. I try to form my opinions after research, thought and consideration. I've never been the person who's been satisfied with "because someone said so". And I thought I was doing pretty well.......and then..... well then I realized how stupid I really am....

For those of you that don't know...I'm that rare thing in my state...Suburbanitis Republicanis. And I've voted that way for as long as I've been voting. (except for local elections, I'll explain that system later) And that my friends is precisely the problem. When it comes to the Senate and the House, well, I've just voted the straight party ticket. Now, with the recent economic emergency, I realize just how stupid I've been. I can't say I've ever researched my Senator or my Representative before an election and now it's glaringly apparent that I should have. It's glarlingly apparent that everyone should.

The office of President is no doubt the "face" of the nation. And currently, no one is really pleased with our "face". But here's the rub... The "face" is only responsible for signing legislation into law. Not making the legislation, that's up to the people I didn't research. So, while I was asleep at the wheel, the current Congress (whose majority is on the opposite side of the "face") has crippled the "face" (repeat after me "line item veto") and taken the taxpayers for a ride.

Yesterday, I was in favor of the "rescue" package. Yesterday, I really believed that the markets needed the liquidity injection that the package was supposed to provide. Yesterday, I didn't mind that it would cost my family thousands. Today, after 338 pages of tax exemptions was added to the bill, today I really mind. Today, I have decided that the best thing that could happen is to let the markets correct themselves. I'm not up for paying for someone else's poor judgement. I have empathy for those who are in real financial trouble, but I'm having trouble mustering up any sympathy. I do have sympathy for the tens of thousands of retirees who will suffer and I have empathy for those who will soon find themselves homeless. But, I'm not interested in paying anyone else's bills. Actually, I'm not interested in fattening up anyone else's hog. And that's precisely what's going on. Rescue, my ass. The only thing that this Congress is interested in rescuing is its own ass. I, personally, would rather kick their ass, right after I kick myself in the ass for allowing them into office.

None of this means that I'm switching sides in this election. I actually find my candidates call for a one year moratorium on spending refreshing. Kind of like running my country like I run my own home. I'm disappointed that my candidate voted to pass this ridiculous legislation, but I still believe in the basic message. I'll still take substance over style any day. But, never again will I vote straight party... It just costs too damn much money...

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The One Where I Toss P.C. Aside (again)

Well, then, here we are, together again. And yes, I'm still composing the China posts, but today I thought I'd chat about the latest adventures in the House of Nyt. It's been several weeks of the krazee around here, but we've managed to have a little bit of fun as well.


First off, Himself's other eye turned out to be defective. We discovered this while at a consultation on repairing the first defective eye that was repaired (sort of correctly) in March. Three doctors, two hospitals, and roughly eight hours later we had a fourth doctor and an appointment for the next day. Ever try to amuse a 2 and 1/2 year old with nothing more than a dress-up monkey and a pair of shiny shoes? Yeah, I rock. Actually, the Eggroll rocks, she really sailed through that day with nary a problem. Over the next 7 days, we travelled to the doc's office 5 times, for gas bubbles and check-ups. We survived the worst of it (himself is a LOUSY patient) and hopefully this coming Monday will be the last of the appointments for a while.

Now for one of the politically incorrect portions of the program. Why the hell are all the good doctors in areas of this city where the poorest folks are? Can someone please explain to me why I must ( yes, must) travel a minimum of 30 miles one way to see a teaching doctor in any specialty? Why are there no quality doctors here? We live in a middle to upper class suburb, we pay exorbitant taxes, and yet our community hospital is good for nothing more than stitches. And why are all the liberal blow hards whining about health care? I walked the halls of these hospitals, I sat it waiting rooms, and I can pretty much guarantee that we were the only folks there who weren't on Medicare or Medicaid. What gives? And why are so many doctors saying they can't make any money?? Hello!! Life is simple fellas, go where the money is.....

More incorrectness....the Eggroll is fascinated with people of color. I can't fault her for it, she's probably never seen them before she came to this country. She's only been here a couple of months folks.... Anywhooo... standing outside one of the jillion hospitals I visited, I struck up a conversation with an older lady who had a small child with her. The Eggroll kept poking at the small child, and I couldn't figure out why. Then, the following week at pre-school (she's enrolled in a pretty diverse place), she tried to wash the black off the teacher. Now, actually, to me, that's pretty damn funny. She's tried to wash the scar off my hand innumerable times. However, other folks don't find it so funny and I'm stuck explaining that she's only been here several months and has never really seen people of color before. It annoys me that people just can't take any action for what it is. It must mean something else. Or that everything must be explained... Like the lady we walked past who Eggroll was staring at, and the woman felt it necessary not to say hello, but to announce to my 2 and 1/2 year old "I'm African American" literally, no greeting, nothing. Seriously? And what's with that anyway.... is it a nationality, is it a race, what?? Is everyone of color African American, or are they Kenyan African American? or Ghanaian African American? What's up with that?? Why does it matter? I don't saunter up to every person who's different from me and announce that I'm Nyt and I'm Caucasian Irish American and this is my husband Himself, who is Caucasian German American, and this is our Eggroll whose Asian Chinese American......although, maybe I should....

We did manage to have a lovely day at the zoo during all this hoopla. You've just got to love the zoo in the middle of the week. Not crowded at all..

I love a good merry-go round. I'm glad she does too.....Props to Himself for making this shot work. He never uses my camera and of course, he's rocking the busted eye. I told him to hold the camera up and hold the button down. LOL! And wouldn't you know, he got a shot worth keeping....


Butterflies with Himself.

And then, there was the Sandwich Fair. The last fair of the season. We really had a good time. I'm not a big "country" girl...something about nature getting all over my shoes, but it really is fun to see all the tractors and animals. The Eggroll had a blast as well. I was so excited that she decided that the backpack was a good thing. (we toted that damn thing all over China and she HATED it) She hung out in it whenever there wasn't something that she wanted to see, it really is sooooo much easier in crowds. Himself wore it for a while and then it was my turn for the rest of the night. It didn't feel like much when I was wearing it but OMG! the next day my legs hurt, my abs hurt.. I must be in really bad shape, I have purses heavier than that. I guess because it forces you to stand aligned... you get a bit more exercise than what you think...
One thing I did notice, traipsing around in the wilds of farm town. People have some pretty strong feelings about blended families. And often times, it's written all over their faces. Some were happy, but there were some that had disapproval written all over them. No one said anything, as X and I (we went with our friends X and Y) were walking one particular path, I asked her.... do you feel it... she did... That's precisely when the Eggroll threw her hands up in the air and yelled "Ta Daa". It really doesn't get any better than that.....


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The One Where I Bang the Political Drum

It happens every election season. The vein above my right eye begins to pulse, my hands get sweaty, my brow furrows and I find myself counting to ten before speaking quite often. It's not the necessarily the candidates that do it to me, it's not even the media (although, I confess I have come close to denting the LCD).
It's the people.... the regular, ordinary people that bring on the stroke symptoms. All one of then has to do is open their mouth and I can feel my eye twitch and my ears begin to bleed.....

This election season is not different. Once again, I'm not on the "side of the angels" and Oprah has not endorsed my candidate. (seriously?!? Oprah!?!)

The common intellect of American society blows me away every time. So, I going to be my usual incorrect self and just lay it out there......

On the issues;
Iraq--- No one really wants to be in Iraq, but so many people refuse to educate themselves on the geo-political consequences of not being there. The Middle East is still (and probably always will be) the hot-spot of the world. Simply put, do we really want to leave it unattended? Just how much are we willing to pay for a gallon of gas?
Terrorism--- Let's face it, whether you agree or disagree with what Bush has done, the fact remains that there have been no more attacks on American soil. That being said, should there be another attack, do you really want someone who'll just negotiate? I don't.
Energy--- There is no question that we as a nation need alternative sources of energy. That being said, we must acknowledge that our energy needs and desires are a mult-level problem. No matter what form of energy we choose to use, we have to be willing to develop it, build it, and use it. That means uncomfortable people. We're going to have to give up the idea of "not in my backyard". We're going to have to accept that energy is going to cost us more before it costs us less. We're going to have to accept the fact that it's going to require some governmental interference to get it done. No matter what our choice, it's going to affect us in our own homes and in our everyday lives, we'd better be prepared for the cost to come.
Enviroment--- Once again, it costs to save the enviroment, and we have to be prepared to pay the price. That means everyone. Fining and taxing corporations raises some money, but ultimately, the end user must also pay the price. I think people are overlooking that in their zeal to condem the current policies. We must also be prepared to sacrifice convienience in our own homes. Anyone out there know what percentage of our everyday products impact the enviroment? We know it takes forever for a plastic water bottle to degrade, but do we really know how much of our enviroment is impacted to make that bottle? Or your shampoo bottle, or the bottle for your dish soap.....etc. etc. etc.....
Health Care--- Everyone's favorite whipping post. It would be wonderful to have health care for every American. It's not possible without moving towards or directly into socialized medicine. And again, someone has to pay for it. And again, that someone is the regular guy on the street. It flat out means more money out of everyone's pocket....
Housing--- The housing crisis is an individual-created crisis. That means that there is an entire section of this country who bought homes that they couldn't afford based on the idea that we are ENTITLED to own a home in this country. Predatory loans, are a product, and only exist because there's a moron out there that's willing to purchase it. Now, the government (who just bailed out Fannie and Freddie) will be asking you to pay for it, and me, and your kid, and my kid..... Seriously, how much are you willing to pay for your neighbors stupidity??

So here's where I am. I support the McCain/Palin ticket. And I don't agree with all of their positions. But, when I sort through the chaff, the grain works for me. I want a team with political experience. I want a team that has been dedicated to public service, not just politics. I want a team that's willing to cross the aisle to get things done, and I want a team that is unafraid to make the "unpopular" decision. Actually, I want a team that will MAKE a decision, not just talk about it.

Change is always uncomfortable folks...just how uncomfortable are you willing to be??

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The One Where We Talk About Boobs and Boors

So Sarah Palin wowed them last night at the GOP convention. If I had any questions before, I don't have any now. I'm good with it. Now let's not make any mistakes here, I'm not totally supportive of her platform. I'm not pro-life, and I'm a spiritual person rather than a religious one. But I'm in.....

From my seat, I don't care if she was chosen because she's female. And I don't believe that her gender is the only reason she was chosen. I think in the whole process of vetting and scoring potential candidates she got a few extra points for having boobs. On the Dems side, I find it very hard to believe that Barack didn't get a few extra points for being an African American. We'd be extraordinarily foolish to believe otherwise. The question is, do we take offense? I don't. Life is a plus/minus and people would do well to get right with that. After last night's speech, it's hard to believe that there was any other potential nominee that would have made the kind of connection that this woman did. Score one for the boobs!

Now for the boors. Since the announcement of Palin as McCain's running mate, the press and the interwebz has been buzzing with her personal and family life. Is that perhaps because they have very little to attack her for professionally? Today, rather than address the points that she made, the Obama camp declared it more Bush rhetoric. Mmm-hmm.. I didn't here a single reference to Dubya, did you?

Much has been made about her "lack of experience". Point for point, she actually has more government experience than Barack. Hell, she has more experience than Hillary. I won't say that she's more savvy than Biden, I'll reserve that call for after the debates (and a bit more research on Biden) but I think it'll be a close call.

The One Where The Cards Hit The Table

I thought that this post would come later. I really thought that all of this wouldn't boil over until our journey was complete. I was wrong. Suffice it to say that I have reached the point where it's not good for me, or anyone around me, to hold it in any longer. The universe has spoken, so now I will too...Buckle your seat belts, keep your arms and legs inside the ride, and please remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop...

Way back when, Himself and I decided to complete our family. Our path first led up to adoption, and then on to international adoption. We attended seminars from different agencies, did the research and talked to people who had already adopted. We did everything we knew how to in order to make an informed decision. We tried our hardest to find the perfect "fit". Ultimately, we chose our agency based on their "seminar" and several personal recommendations. The agency we chose, was, at that time, at the top of the local price range. We ignored the financial end of it, and decided that we needed to "extra, personalized" help that they offered. We were clueless to the mechanics of international adoption. This was in the spring of 2005.

By mid summer, the agency phoned us with the news that prices were due to go up, and if we wanted the lower price, we needed to commit then. Never ones to turn down a bargain, we committed. We were going to anyway, the news just served as the little push we needed. We attended another seminar, with other prospective families, and learned about the intricacies of paperwork. At the close of the seminar we were given a Xeroxed list of all the documents we needed to obtain and forms we needed to submit.

Our "paper chase" covered three states, two marriages and one divorce and at least two federal entities. In between filling out forms and waiting for documents to be returned, we were personality tested, inspected, and the like. We started in August of 2005 and by November, we were inches away from being complete. Throughout all of the paperwork, we never heard from our agency. The only contact we had was during our home study and our personality testing. The advertised "step by step" assistance was nowhere to be found. Late in November, himself called with a question. His call was returned immediately, and during the answer portion of the call, he was told that there was only one more dossier group that was going to be sent out for the year and if we wanted to be a part of it, we needed to get our documentation in ASAP.

So we pushed the last portion of the paperwork. I took time from work, we paid extra fees to expedite stamps and approvals. We met with our agency's "paperwork queen" and had our contents checked. We were given a short list of paperwork that we still needed to attend to, and then the "passport" incident occurred. I had kept my maiden name for quite a while after we were married, and my passport needed to be in my married name for the dossier. I spent a day and extra money to get my passport re-issued in a hurry. "Paperwork Queen" flipped through the newly issued passport, and tossed it at me. "This is no good" she declared. I excused myself and went to the washroom. It was the best choice, my only other choice was to slap her. Turns out, the passport was perfectly good, I just hadn't signed the last page.....

Two days before the deadline, I made my way to the agency to turn in all my paperwork. I had an accordion file filled with at least four copies of every piece of paperwork we needed. I handed the entire file to the Paperwork Queen and told her to take whatever she needed. She went through each section pulling copies as she went. When she handed me back the file I asked her if she had everything she needed. She said she did, and I went on my merry way. Later that evening she called to say that she did not have everything that she needed. She was one document short, and if we wanted to make the deadline, we had a fifteen minute window the following morning, to get her the document. We checked the accordion file, the document was there and Himself made the fifteen minute window. Annoyed, but unconcerned we resumed everyday life and waited for the letter that would give us our log in date. When the letter arrived we were astounded to see that our log in date was for 2006 and not 2005. Even though we had made the "deadline" our dossier was not sent with the others, it was held for two weeks. The real cost of this? 4 months of wait time and close to $1000.00. We never received an explanation or an apology. The stage was set for what has ultimately become a wary and contentious relationship.

Time passed. A lot of time. During 2006, we heard nothing from our agency. There were sporadic updates on their website. Updates that encouraged us to be patient, not to talk amongst ourselves, to give no credibility to rumors or opinions from anyone other than them, to pray. In the beginning, when the snail mail would bring us envelopes with the agency's logo on them, we would tear into them eagerly. They never contained anything other than solicitations for donations. We stopped tearing into them and started laughing when they arrived.
In the beginning, we were told that they would keep track of all the important dates for us. Some of the documentation has/had expiration dates. We would go through our paperwork sporadically, checking the dates ourselves. We weren't concerned, after all, our agency would let us know when/if we had to renew something. Ultimately, we came within two weeks of an important document expiring with no warning from our agency. We handled it ourselves and accepted the fact that we were on our own. Very recently, one of our federal documents was due to expire. We quickly renewed it, paying over one hundred dollars to do so. Only afterwards, did we find out that that fee could've been waived. And no, it wasn't our agency that told us.

If any of you have read the last few posts, you already know that the issues continue. You already know that our translation has come in incorrectly not once, but twice. You already know that our personal friend has done most of the translation "unofficially". The most recent? Reminding our agency that we will need an addendum to our home study due to the age of our child at referral time.
The current "wildest" issue? Our daughter was referred to us from a province that our agency has never dealt with before. It appears that we had all of the Institute and contact information before they did.....

As the final leg of this journey approaches, the families involved are coming together. Past and present, these families are sharing information and supporting one another. The saddest part of all of this is that our story is not unique. Other families have had "issues", other families have had their journey marred by the practices of an agency they turned to for guidance and help. Most of them are quiet and polite, some are afraid to articulate their woes, but so many have had their joy tempered. It shouldn't be that way....

For those of us, past and present, the journey is an onerous one. We plod through, we adjust our lives, we adjust our thinking. We wait patiently for a word, a sign, anything, to let us know that we are on the right path, that we are not alone. It reminds me of being a kid, and graduating from the kiddie rides to the big roller coaster. You knew you could ride alone, but it ride was much less frightening when you had someone to grab onto. Most of us were promised a hand to hold, most of us paid for a nanny (agency) to hold our hand. Many of us were bitterly disappointed.

My agency plays their cards close to the vest. They appear to resent anyone or anything that may give their clients more information than they are willing to release. Their attention seems to focus when the checkbook appears and becomes cloudy as soon as the check clears. They control information and opinions fiercely.

Cards on the table.... you are breeding a culture of mistrust and suspicion and resentment. You're clients are going to get the information, whether you want them to or not. They are going to form their own opinions whether you want them to or not. They are going to share that information and those opinions whether you want them to or not. You're holding my hand now though, not because I need to you, but because you need to. See, my process is holding up your process so now, my every thought is important to you.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I lost my sh*t last night. Literally lost it. The aftermath involves a repairman and some replacement purchases. Thank you agency o' mine for the push. After a loss of impulse control and a cocktail I feel much better this morning. Another secret, I'm polite because I have to be, I'm cooperative because I have to be.

Know this agency o'mine, I may have slapped the cards on the table, but I'm not the one holding aces and eights......

So, really, I'm not crazy...

Well, not certifiably crazy, just kind of crazy....

The holidaze have arrived, in all of their glory, and I'm looking forward to January. Living near a mall is darn nice 11 months out of the year, but right now? Not so much... So, for the non-locals who are descending on my part of town, some rules designed to keep you safe from me and the loss of impulse control i occasionally suffer from.

1) There is no need to cut me off. I'm not after your "parents with children" parking space. I'm after the half and half at the local grocery store. Trust me, me having my coffee keeps you a whole lot safer.

2) Neighborhood shortcuts are for people who live in the neighborhood. Feel free NOT to come zooming through my neighborhood in a desperate attempt to avoid the traffic. One does not have to be a rocket scientist to figure out how to flatten your tires without breaking a sweat.

3) There are grocery stores in your neighborhood too. Please feel free to stop there instead of clogging up the one grocery store that you can see from the mall.

4) Please do not slam on your brakes in the middle of the street. I know you don't know where you're going, but I do know where I'm going, and I'd like to get there in one piece. Might I suggest asking Santa for a nice GPS system???

5) There are a dozen different entrances to the mall. Pick one, any one, it doesn't matter. If you make nothing but right turns after you enter the mall, you will reach your destination.....

And if you happen to see me on the street....get the hell out of my way!!

So today, I'll be ranting on the political...

For those who are even interested, I'm a conservative. Not one of those far right, bible thumping Christian conservatives, just a conservative.

I responded to another bloggers post about her feelings on supporting the troops while not supporting the war. I've since discovered that being a conservative will not get you any party invitations anytime soon.

My first complaint is the lack of information that quite a few people are using to form their opinions. Not a questioning soul among them. The TV told them so it must be true. And since when did Bill Maher and Michael Moore become quotable sources??

I'm hugely disappointed in the lack of understanding of broad issues. We seem to have raised a generation of folks who can only see that which is directly in front of them. War in Iraq? Troops being killed? ABORT! ABORT!

Yes there are troops being killed, and it's tragic. There are also Iraqi's being killed and that's just as tragic. There's also the small matter of the United States needing what that region contains....oil.... and if someone thinks that bailing now is a good idea, they had better bust open their piggy bank for gas money next week. Or perhaps they'll just go green....ditch the Jeep, heat the house with peat, and watch the fruit of their loins walk to school uphill both ways in the snow. Next of course, comes the less than popular idea that a destabilized Iraq could lead to a destablized Middle East period. Hmmm what's Arabic for $200 a barrel??

I'm also disappointed in the lack of understanding of Arab/Muslim culture. The fact that much of the Middle East, while divided into countries, is united in a singular religion. That religion not only provides guidance on the spiritual, but also provides guidance on the social and political. And we (Americans) are not real high on the list to get into their heaven, or any heaven for that matter.

I'm tired of the idea that Osama is the only fella out there intent on destroying the US. Osama may be the most recognizable, but he's certainly not the only one. But, the US must destroy Osama, then we will be safe, then the threat will be over.....really?? Ya think so?? Or do we just make the most recognizable hater into the most recognizable martyr. That'll make us more secure.

I'm tired of Americans. I'm not tired of America, she continues to grow and evolve. But I will admit I'm darn sick of Americans in general and I am one. How did it happen? When did our populace change from "inquiring" minds to "enquiring" minds. When did the "sheeple" outbreak happen?

The funniest thing to me is that the ones making the most noise are the ones who have suffered the least. They are the younger ones, the ones who's parents gave them every opportunity.... The ones who coined and defined the term "slacker".