The One About Stuff I Don't Get

 

 

 

There's a whole bunch of stuff in this life that I'll never understand...

 

* Why the Chocolate Jesus feels the need to have a press conference EVERY SINGLE DAY! For the love of God man, campaign season is over! And furthermore, no matter how often you try and sell a used car, it's still a USED CAR! You can call it whatever you want, you can try and wrap it in pretty paper, it's still a BAD IDEA!

 

* Why people think they're doing my kid a favor when they feed her arbitrarily. My child has a eating disorder, it's documented and we're seeing therapists for it. But somehow, folks just think it's a great thing to feed her whatever, whenever, without asking. Seriously, you'll ask me if it's alright to feed my dog, but you won't ask me about feeding my kid??

 

* What the hell happened to the grown men in my life. Flipper had his annual golf outing, which seemed to turn into nothing but a geriatric frat party. Complete with unconcious party goers, house damage and peeing in the pond... we shall not discuss the age of the participants...

* Why the Swooper eats EVERYTHING. You name it, this dog will attempt to eat it. Wood, paper, plastic, heck, I even caught him with a mouthful of steel wool (that was a C-note worth of X-rays). Perhaps I should send him to therapy with the Eggroll.

* What happened to summer in the Midwest? Sure, now that we replaced the airconditioner, it hasn't gone above 80 in what seems like weeks. On the plus side, we may be able to try out the new furnace since it's dropping into the 50's at night...

* Where the time goes. The Eggroll has now been with us for a little over a year. Parenting still hasn't gotten any easier... LOL!

* Where have all the manners gone? Is there a "manners graveyard" somewhere? Does anyone have directions??

* Why companies are against rewarding customers. Recently, our local cable company offered a sweet deal for new customers. The deal would have shaved almost $60 a month off of our current bill. They won't let us have it, but they've been generous enough to offer us $5 a month off of our current bill. Gee that's swell (insert sarcasm here) You would think that in these tough times that companies would be just as concerned about retention as they are about getting new clients...

* Why it is that folks with "oddities" find it necessary to slap photos of themselves everywhere. Are you unaware of your one wonky eye?? Has no one told you? I'm now no longer reading your posts, I'm staring at the wonky eye. You could be writing earth-shattering revelations and I'm going to miss them because of the wonky eye. Please stop.

*Why every one is an "expert". I'm thinking that the recent, home-grown gradute of UC Berkely is not quite the health care "expert" he's been labeled. Acne treatments do not qualify you as an "expert"

I know, I could have done better... it's not like I haven't had months to work on a decent post... I'll try harder next time...

 Subscribe in a reader