The One About Being Punished for Playing By The Rules


Yet another unfinished post sitting in draft

I've never been particularly shy. Most folks that know me will tell you that the previous sentence is an understatement. And I've never been particularly PC. Also an understatement. If you're one of those easily offended types, move on now... I'm not interested in intentionally offending everyone..

The "Octomom" is the topic of much conversation as of late. 14 children, all through IVF, all under the age of 7, all, in one form or another, on the dole. I can't even begin to express how nauseous the entire situation makes me. Every one of these children should be taken from this woman, her parental rights need to be terminated immediately and ideally, she should be jailed. Yes, that's right, I said take her kids and slap her ass in jail. Never mind the idiot doctor that did the procedures in the first place. Fertility treatments are a for profit business. The medical moron did the job he was paid to do.

It infuriates me that there are folks out there who scrimp and save, pinch and plan, just to be able to have a single child. And then you have Nadya...the woman who not only brought into the world 6 children she couldn't possibly afford, but then 8 more?? Who in the world has the ability to care for 14 children? By themselves??

This is not a family like the Duggars (who, BTW, I think are plain old bat-shit crazy) Their 18 kids are spread out over the course of 15 years or so, and, they are totally self-sufficient. They made their choices, lived by their decisions and rely on no one but themselves. I think it's crazy, but I can't argue with it.

Speaking of decisions... I'm going for the totally inappropriate here... but I'm going for the gorilla in the room.... Whenever I see one of these litter dropping women, they answer the whole selective reduction question with the same basic answer "it's God's will that I have these kids". Really?? What about the not getting pregnant in the first place thing?? Wasn't that God's will too?? Oh wait, the medical technology thing solved that problem for you and that was alright?? Just what to you apply God's will to anyway?? Is it everything, just some stuff, what you want....where's the line?? I know I'm a lapsed Catholic and everything, but I'm thinking that there might be a flaw in your whole interpretation thing.

So, the litter arrives and suddenly these women are cause celebre. Now we subjected to the "Madonna" moms... you know the ones, they're holy, they're pious, they're totally devoted to their children... and they're expecting rewards. At the very least they want applause... and the rest, well the rest they claim is just people being kind.

The One with Recaps and Opinions

Well then, the last couple weeks have just kind of flown by. We've been busy around here at the House of Nyt...

• The Eggroll had her lucky toe removed. When we first started the process, we were prepared for the worst case scenario. I am pleased to report that there were no pins involved, no medications necessary, and that she is already out of her cast. No one has any idea how thrilled I am for her that it ended up being sooo easy. Within two days of surgery, she was walking on her cast and life was pretty much normal. The kid amazes everyone, no complaints, no fussing, nothing.... We had her cast removed yesterday and everyone remarked at how easy she was.. It is a bonus with kids that have been institutionalized, some are very used to being handled by a myriad of people. The minus, of course, is that it makes it very difficult to teach the whole "stranger danger" thing. I do notice though, that if she's in her "own" surroundings that she is loathe to deal with strangers. I met GB and his hubby for lunch the other day and I opened Vanbo's door before I got out. GB reached in to take her from her car seat and all hell broke loose. Let's just say...people stared...
• We're having a case of the "3's". Every direction is challenged (usually with tears) and absolutely everything is a tradgedy of epic proportions. Seriously... If you ask the Eggroll "who's moaning myrtle?" she replies with a grin... "I'm moaning myrtle!" With Himself back on the night shift, I've suggested earplugs....strongly... BTW, I'm turning into my own parents... I just turn up the TV or radio when the screaming begins... LOL! I'm not holding out for "mother of the year 2009".
• I'm not making much progress on reducing the "stuff" taking over the House of Nyt. So far I've only managed to get one huge bag to Goodwill. Speaking of donations.. I used to donate to a community group that helps families in need. They've begun dictating exactly what they want, how they want it, and when they want it. I find it rather ungrateful myself... I'm not sure I know anyone who has the time to sort and classify their donations, and then drop those donations only on the day of the week assigned to them. I'm serious... this group wants women's clothes on monday after 1pm and childrens clothes on tuesday between 2 and 4....etc. Small wonder my stuff is now going to Goodwill...
• I have managed to read a book. Not earth-shattering, I know...but I've been so involved with everyone else that I'd forgotten about me...
• Our six-month "inspection" is tomorrow. Yeah... that's when I let a complete stranger into my home to judge my parenting skills and my home in general....Crap! I just remembered that Ms. Judgey needs photos! Next on the to-do list....
• The Swooper continues to get larger and larger. I have an appointment for him this afternoon, I'll be interested to see how much he actually weighs. He's also developed a fondness for sleeping in the bed. And one other thing that just warms my soul... he's beginning to "talk". My Ancient Brit used to talk by snapping his teeth together and growling different intonations. Swooper is starting the same thing...makes me smile every time.
• "Fatburger" will not make you fat. We stopped there on Saturday for dinner and by Sunday I had relearned the definition of "explosive" when it comes to bodily fluids. Yet two more days on the Gatorade and Coke diet. Not the healthiest, but at least my jeans are looser. As a totally unrelated and politically incorrect aside... there were 4 folks of the Caucasian persuasion in Fatburger... we were 2 of them....
• Disney on Ice should be renamed, "Grift the Parents". May I say that a $300 dollar day for a three year old is a bit on the excessive side. I'm not kidding. $200 bucks for tickets, $20 to park, $30 for popcorn and soda, $15 for the souvenir...and a bite to eat afterward?? In the whole plus/minus thing, she really enjoyed it and actually paid attention to the show... on the minus side, we ran into one of the women from the adoption group ahead of ours. She's really not our biggest fan, the feeling is mutual... and all it led to was "awkward"... I'm really glad your child is happy and adorable... but really, is there any event that you'll shower for???
• If the whole country is saving their money, why is there a 30 minute wait at my local Red Robin?? If the whole country is broke why is there no parking at my local mall??
• I'd like to opt out of the whole stimulus package thing. And I'm frightened by the stuff that has been slipped in. If you haven't read it...do so... make your own call... but the parallels to Socialist Europe are frightening.
• I'm amused to no end by a friend's comment.."If you're on the right side, the Chocolate Jesus will shit M&M's for you"... and I thought I wasn't a believer... LOL!
• I'm off to complete today's chores... I've already cleaned the playroom ( yes there was bleach involved) and now the rest of the house awaits....

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The One About Sentimentality and Pajamas

Life changes over time. It's inevitable. It's the way the universe is.


Back over the Holidaze, Flipper and I had a conversation about changes in our lives. Yes, that's right, a real conversation about feelings and everything... Anyway, we were driving past a billboard for the movie "marley and me". I remarked that there was no way that I could see that movie. When he asked why, I told him that the dog will inevitably die in the end, and that I just can't take stuff like that anymore, it turns me into a blubbering idiot. Hell, I cry at some commercials... Flipper is the same way...

This just happened in the last few years. Since Momma left us... there's something about that kind of life change that colors absolutely everything. It's funny now, because we made fun of Momma for years...Momma cried at the drop of a hat. Seriously, she cried when she was happy, sad, angry, while she was laughing.... you name it. Church would do it to her every time.. years ago, we went all through Ireland...do you have any idea how many churches and cathedrals are it Ireland??? I literally carried a Kleenex box instead of a camera...

Anyhooo... I cried today...over a pair of flannel pajamas... and it seemed stupid and ridiculous, but it came with a story...see, when I became an "adult" (I use that word loosely) Xmas presents became kind of superfluous. I mean once your kids reach a certain age, you basically just give them money to get what they want anyway.... and Momma would do that....and she would do something else as well....

She would fill a box... with "stuff"... You know, all the "stuff" you never remember to get for yourself?? Stuff like underwear, socks, bras, belts, make-up cases, new pens, journals....all those things that you think about in passing...but never seem to get around to buying for yourself. And every year there was one pair of ridiculously expensive, crazy patterned, flannel pj's. And a pair of them died today... I've literally worn right through the fabric.... and I cried.... because no one will ever make sure that I have crazy flannel pj's again...no one will ever make sure that I have all the odd "stuff" that I need... no one but me... and it makes me sad....and it makes me cry...

And it reminds me how much I miss my Mom...

(It also reminds me that waterproof mascara is ALWAYS a good investment)

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The One About Economizing and Stuff that Doesn't Work

That stuff up there...that picture that Blogger will not allow me to move?? That stuff does not work for me. That stuff is $35.00 a tube (not that I paid that) and it turned me into a dried-up piece of shoe leather. I should have expected it, I suppose. Lemon is often used as a bleach or astringent. But I'm committed to using up everything in my cabinets, so I used it up...and now all I need are a couple of buckles and I could pass for a very large Birkenstock... thank goodness it was a "free" gift. I'm just leathery, not leathery and ticked off....

I wanted to pause a moment and talk about the whole idea of "economizing".

Growing up, I was taught to buy the best that you can afford. And I do. But the best that you can afford is a waste if you don't use it. That being said dear readers, you will find here, from time to time, stuff that works really well.....and stuff that doesn't.

I am that "full-boat" kind of girl. 99% of the time, I'm the person with her hair and make-up done. I'm not fancy, and I live in jeans....but I'm coiffed and pressed almost everyday. I'm also OCD girl...it must be clean, it must function properly, yada, yada, yada...

Economizing is about spending what money you have wisely while maintaining the standards you have set for yourself. That stuff up there??? Would be a waste of money for me to ever purchase....

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The One About The 90 Second Rule

I have a 90 second rule. If I awake for any reason, I must be back in bed and under the covers in 90 seconds or less....otherwise.... I'm up for the day....which is why.... I'm writing this at 4 in the morning...

The Spinner thought it would be a brilliant idea to drink a bowl and a half of water right before I turned out the lights last night. That caused him to wake me at 3:30 this morning by doing the whole spinning thing.....ON MY HEAD! This in turn activated the Swooper, who then began the "whine and moan" song from inside his kennel. This in turn activated my own bladder. So being the super pet owner that I am... I went first, they went next and it all took over 90 seconds. So here I am...swilling coffee while telling the interwebz all about our bodily functions, while the two of them peacefully snooze away....

In other news, the quest for a combo-home continues. My poor realtor must think I'm nuts. Since the housing market took a poop, I've been searching for a way to combine Flipper's with the House of Nyt. The two house thing is just ridiculous. Between us, we have over 7000 sf of home, 4000 of which sits empty 6 months a year. This month alone we paid almost $1000 in heating costs, and let's not even consider the $21000 in property taxes. It's no longer making sense to have two seperate houses. Actually, for many years, this was Momma's plan for the family. Several years before she left us, she and I were investigating properties with potential.
Anyway, it's something I've been tossing around for a while. I watch the foreclosure market and my realtor and I hit stuff that looks interesting. And since I've had "the dream" I'm convinced that the "one" is right around the corner. This weekend Mr. Homes and I hit 7 properties. And then, I hit "the wall". Two of the homes had potential. Both would have needed work. One was a foreclosure..priced roughly 150k under market value, the other? 150k more and a regular owner sale... The problems? Foreclosure house has the land, but a deed restriction on fencing. Regular seller's home is sinking (at least the back half). Both homes require a similar amount of interior work (note to all those who think that venetian plaster is a great idea...take it off before you try and sell the house) but the sinking home has the perfect layout, while the foreclosure home will never have the "flow"....even with renovation. But the deal..... Gah! I've hit the wall. I guess if I'm terrified to pull the trigger, it mustn't be the time to shoot....

In the land of Declarations, the economizing portion of our program goes on. One of the things that I've decided to do is record the stuff that works and the stuff that stinks. If for no other reason than to remind myself.... see, I get distracted easily and...ooooo look......Shiny!

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The One About The Earth Standing Still

I'm not sure why the Earth is standing still...I only know that it is.


For the past couple of years, this country has been screaming for change. They now have it. I hope that it works, I really do...

I'm glad that he acknowledged the problems that this country faces. I'm heartened that he called for responsibility. I don't believe however....

I don't believe that throwing more money into an already broken system is the way to fix anything.

I don't believe that incurring $17000 worth of debt for every household in this country is the way to do it....

I don't believe that you can call for sacrifice from the populace while stating that we will not apologize for our way of life...

I don't believe that you can lead a military when you haven't served yourself...

I don't believe that you can unite a nation, when you set yourself apart...

I don't believe that you can "learn as you go".....

I don't believe....

I'm not part of whole "change" thing. I understand the significance of an African American man being elected president. I get that. But the bottom line is...he's just a man. He's got a great story, fabulous oration skills, and the American press in his pocket...but that's about all he has.... I hope with all my heart that America's faith in the new messiah in well founded.

The One About Declarations

I don't make New Year's Resolutions. I gave up after about 20 years of consistent failure. When I began making the resolution to fail, I knew it was time to try a different direction. Nowdays, I make declarations. (I also make demands and ultimatums, but we'll get to those later :0 ) Declarations imply that the actions have already taken place, or at least the plan for action. That being said..let's look at the current batch of declarations.....

2009 will be the Year of Economizing
2008 was the Year of Spend Every Dime You Have, this year will be the year of leftover money. Every item will have a purpose, every purchase will be used until it dies a natural death. We're eating what's in the freezer, using what's in the fridge and the cabinets and dining out will be a special occasion.
Please don't think that I'm some kind of household queen... I'm not... My big problem with the last year (actually the last few years) is the sheer amount of waste this house and it's occupants generate. Seriously, there was a point where darn near the entire grocery budget was wasted because we chose to eat out instead. There were items purchased that touted themselves as "newer, faster, better". They may have been "newer", but they certainly were not faster or better. For 2009, if a company wants to sell me something "newer, faster and better" they had better send out the old free sample. And don't waste my time with the 2x2 square of goodness...you had better send me a sample I can use more than once..

2009 will be the Year of Expanding One's Mind
I used to be a voracious reader. Emphasis on the "used to be" portion of the sentence. These days, my reading is limited to the interwebz, the local paper, and a couple of magazines that are still delivered to the house. No one likes stupid. Least of all me. I don't suffer fools lightly, and if my current pace continues, I'm in danger of becoming a fool myself. The last thing I ever want to be in this life (and the next) is one of those vapid, self-absorbed, suburban Moms. You know the ones I'm talking about...the ones who have nothing more to discuss than potty-training, what my kid did today, yada, yada, yada. If I don't have the time to actually sit down and read a book, there's always the Ipod and audio books... Speaking of that, the same declaration can be applied to music and movies as well....

2009 will be the Year of Self
Sounds pretty darn narcissistic doesn't it? Well, it's not meant to be that way. See, I have a wonderful habit of taking care of everyone. Everyone but me that is. And I'm suffering for it. It doesn't have to be large things.. Heaven know that none of us really have the time for large things. But it does have to be just for me.....

2009 will be the Year of the Purge
I have no idea how it happens. I wish I did...When we bought the House of Nyt, it seemed unbelievably large. I remember looking into the crawl space and thinking "we'll never, ever, use all that space" HAH! Not only have we used all that space, we've used even more... We don't need all this stuff.... and we spend an inordinate amount of time dealing with the "stuff". And it detracts from the joys of everyday living...it must be destroyed...

2009 will be the Year of Taking Advantage of What We Have
We have a horrible habit of joining everything that might entertain us and then claiming that there's nothing to do. We have another horrible habit of pledging lifestyle changes and then finding every excuse in the world not to do them. Take the Wii Fit for example....it "fits" perfectly under the table where it mocks me from it's tidy little box.... Museum memberships? Used maybe once a year... I say "Phooey" to that.. this will be the year of doing the stuff we signed up for....

That about sums it up for now dear readers.... oh, and if this post looks a little wonkier than usual....blame Blogger....I swear I did the same exact thing for every paragraph...

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The One About The Cold



Since it's too cold for anything outside...


BEHOLD!!
The Princess Eggroll

Doesn't it make you wish you were still young enough for make believe?

The One Where I Win Mother of the Year

What the fly on the wall heard: "For heaven's sake child eat your vegetables, there are starving children in China who would be grateful for fresh veggies"....

Yeah...I suck.... (I'll just run with the current social climate and blame it on my parents)

It's been a week of adjusting in the ole House of Nyt. After almost three weeks in the Great Southwest with Grampaw and a passel of doting aunts and uncles, lets just say that getting back to routine is challenging. Think sugar withdrawal combined with a case of the "twos".... good times....good times....

On the plus side, the three weeks surrounded by nothing but adults did wonders for the Eggroll's speech...

The Swooper has virtually doubled in size. He and the Spinner are virtually inseparable. As I write this, they are chasing each other throughout the house.....four levels...nothing but wood floors... it sounds like a herd of buffalo. Swooper's also broken out in freckles...cutest thing ever!!!

Then we have Spinner, who has taken counter surfing to a whole new level. If anyone was concerned about the political correctness of a Chinese child carrying a Chinese baby doll, fret no more. The Spinner has solved the problem by surfing the doll off of the table and making Dolly a double amputee. Hopefully, the Eggroll has so many toys that she won't miss it. The current problem is the fact that I only found enough parts for ONE amputation.....which means that the Spinner devoured the first amputation....so I will spend my day in below zero temperatures on poop and puke patrol....Woot!! Sadly, the deranged "special effects" Elmo is still alive and well. If I had to sacrifice one toy on the altar of upset dog.....it would have been Elmo....at least the baby doll was quiet.

The snow is coming down again, and it's just too darn cold for anything other than gazing out the window. I will say this though, I never tire of the quiet beauty of winter. When everything is silent, fresh and crisp.... I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune as soon as I step outside the house, but for right now...the beauty is stunning.. Things "live" differently in winter..the animals outside travel in different paths, the house makes different noises, people move differently as well. We tidy our nests, cook the food that warms not only our bellies, but our souls, hold those close to us just a little tighter. Maybe it's the primal knowledge that of all the seasons...winter is the one that could end our time on this earth in the blink of an eye... Perhaps that's why it appeals to me... the whole primal simplicity..

And then there's the view from the window...the one that reminds me how lucky I am to be gazing at frigid beauty from the warmth of my kitchen...

Stay warm...

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The One Where I Return From Sabbatical

Well then..... I trust that everyone had fun and fabulous Holidaze???? If you answered "yes" good for you.. if you answered "no" well, then...better luck next year...

Since I've been absent for darn near 30 days, we'll keep the recap short and sweet. Heaven knows that no one wants to listen to me babble for hours... I believe we left off right before Thanksgiving.

THANKSGIVING--
2 turkeys, 2 different kinds of dressing, 2 kinds of potatoes, 2 weeks of furious housecleaning, 15 people, 5 of which I like, 10 of which I don't, 2 fags, 1 recovering alcoholic, 1 eight week old puppy, 1 Eggroll, 4 other kids, 2 sets of parents allergic to disciplining the 4 children, Flipper holding court in his chair..(then there was the complaining that my family room doesn't seat enough people) 'Nuff said??? Good......moving on.....

POST-THANKSGIVING
At least one week was spent in recovery from the Thanksgiving meal. One of the great mysteries in my life is "where the hell does all this stuff go??" My house regularly burps up enough entertaining gear for a White House dinner, then refuses to accept the return of said gear. When it finally does accept the returns, there's a whole "get even" thing, which is why, no matter how many I buy, I never have more than 9 of anything...placemats, napkins, glasses...nine, apparently, is my homes lucky number....
The week was also spent holding my breath. Flipper and friends were scheduled to depart for the Great Southwest on the 13th of December. If you've hung around here for a while, then you know the airlines will not board the friends unless the ground temp is higher than 20 degrees. The week before his departure was bitterly cold. I made contingency plans, they involved 2 friends, one Eggroll, a fag, and Vanbo..... didn't sound like a vacation to me. Flipper being the clueless soul that he is thought it would be a fabulous idea to bring "all" the friends down since I was driving anyway... so let's see...that makes...Skinny, Minnie, Spinner, Swooper, Eggroll, Nyt, 1 fag, 1800 miles, and Vanbo...I gently reminded Flipper that Vanbo is a MINI-van, not a tour bus....and then my hair fell out.
Since Flipper is such a lucky guy, departure day was a balmly 36 degrees... I finally exhaled several hours after I dropped him off....
Of course the next several days were spent prepping Eggroll and myself for departure. Due to circumstances beyond our control (two busted eyes and one take-out pick-up...) Himself was out of days for the year, and we were, unfortunately, spending the Holidaze apart. We have made the joint decision to NEVER, EVER, DO THIS AGAIN. Even if we travel separately, we will spend the holiday together....

CHRISTMAS
Ahhh the Great Southwest....yeah...right.... While signifigantly warmer than the home front, it rained for the first week we were here. And then it never got quite warm enough..... Desert damp is different from Midwest damp. It lingers longer... I've been here almost three weeks now, and it's only really been warm enough to enjoy outside for 2 or three days. ....

Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of..."As The Clueless Carry On"

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The One About Everyday


This is one of those posts that was sitting unfinished...
I thought it was funny anyway...

Before you begin this entry dear readers, I want you to understand that I love my husband and my child more than life itself. This entry is about "the funny". Because there are those days that can only be looked at that way.......

My house contains at any given time, myself, Nyt, my husband, Himself, our child, Eggroll, and our pets...Spinner, Swooper and Miss Thing. Swooper is the newest addition and at 9 weeks old, he's already turning this place upside down.

Let us begin....

4:25AM- Awake to a full bladder and a chilly room. Silently curse the ass that said 40 was the new 30. Attempt to creep silently past Swooper's cage into the bathroom. Realize that I'm missing a sock and the bathroom floor is damn cold.
4:26AM- Relieve myself and then decide against flushing (wouldn't want to wake Swooper)
4:27AM- Creep back to bed. Realize that Spinner is not going to relinquish any blankets. Search for alternate blanket.
4:28AM- Blanket located.
4:40AM- Decide that sleep is futile
4:45AM- Give up the ghost and set sights on an uninterrupted shower
4:46AM- Plan of uninterrupted shower thwarted by squeaking Swooper
4:47 AM- Close bedroom door and release Swooper from kennel. Discover that Miss Thing is on the wrong side of the door as pitiful mewling begins.
4:48AM- Drop newspaper on floor. Swooper misses newspaper by mere inches..
4:49AM- Wash floor
4:55AM- Throw self into shower. Accomplish clean in a record 10 minutes.
5:05AM- Head for dresser and clean underwear..step in warm Swooper pee
5:06AM- Wash feet
5:08AM- Wash floor
5:10AM-Apply make-up and do hair while chasing Swooper and removing stray stuff from his mouth. Swear silently as Spinner snuggles into the covers and emits a deep sigh. Pray that I'm not mistaken for a clown....
5:20 AM- Head downstairs to take dogs outside and make coffee. Realize that it is somewhere around 15 degrees out. Before jacket is even zipped, Swooper pees again.
5:21AM- Ignore pee and stand outside in snow and wind begging tiny dog to "go potty outside"
5:27AM- Wash floor
5:30AM- Reach coffeepot. Shed tears of joy
5:35AM- Himself reaches the kitchen and announces "I would have taken the dogs out.."
5:36AM- Contemplate murder....
5:37AM- Collect dogs, dog toys, cigarettes and lighter. Settle into chair for morning coffee, smoke and news.
5:40AM- Eggroll awake and calling for Daddy. Remind Himself that 5:40 in the morning is not an acceptable time for any child to get up. Ask that he take her potty and put her back in bed.
5:45AM- Himself returns from upstairs announcing "mission accomplished". Himself departs for work.
5:56 to 6:15AM- Swill coffee and puff cigarettes throughout early newscast.
6:16 to 6:30AM- Develop plan for the day. Realize that there is little or no food in the house. Figure on hitting two grocery stores before lunch. Decide to make list.
6:31AM- Find a Swooper poop on the way to get paper for grocery list.
6:32AM- Wash floor
6:35AM- Collect pets for another potty trip to the frozen tundra. Once again, Swooper pees before my jacket is even on.
6:36 to 6:44AM- Stand outside in freezing cold and snow waiting for tiny dog to "potty outside"
6:45AM- Wash floor
6:48AM- Prepare Eggroll's breakfast along with Swooper's.

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The One Where I Collect Scattered Thoughts

In no particular order.....


* I received a call from both the auto hospital and the insurance adjuster yesterday. Vanbo has some internal damage (nothing we didn't expect). The auto hospital wanted me to know that they've already received the supplement, and the parts are on order. The insurance adjuster not only told me the same thing, but also extended the rental for the ugliest van in America for another five days. The signifigance of all of this??? ACTUAL CUSTOMER SERVICE! And I didn't have to yell, beg or threaten anyone.....

* The breeder sent photos of the three pups we have to choose from. After Himself and I rated our choices, I phoned Flipper and asked him to stop by. One must understand that to get Flipper to stop by and take a look at anything other than the Eggroll is a monumental task. When I said "puppies" he altered his schedule immediately. When he showed up he immediately went hunting for my computer. I bought up the photos, he pointed to the screen uttered "I want that one", asked if the Eggroll was home and then was gone as quick as he came...FYI, Flipper's ratings and Himself's were exactly the same...I think its a conspiracy..

* House of Nyt is undergoing the pre-holiday cleaning ritual. This is the time of the year where I drive Himself insane.... he and my OCD don't always get along. Funny thing is, as much hell as he gives me for my freakish cleaning tendencies. (he continually reminds me that my "dirty" is the rest of the world's clean), he's the first person to be apalled at someone else's dirty house. Several times during the trick-or-treating ritual, he would lean over and whisper to me..."Did you see the inside of that house?? Can you believe people live that way??" Yeah...embrace the OCD Mr. Man....embrace the OCD.

* Anyone else apalled over Prop 8?? Really?? So much for embracing change....

* I'm finding it hilariously funny that there are a few polls out there that advocate a pit bull as the Presidential Puppy. I've got nothing against the breed, but really....stereotype much???

* My Wad died.... minds out of the gutter folks, the Wad was a fish. We developed an odd attachment to one another..he would actually eat off of my finger. Strange to think that fish may actually have personalities. Anyhow, he gave up the ghost after close to 9 years...

Thattttt'ss allll fffollkksss!

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The One That Puts It All To Rest

Well, it's finally over.... And it came out just the way everyone thought it would. No matter who won the presidential race, I think we can all agree that the next few years are going to be a rough, rough ride. Buckle up folks..

I'm going to wind this election season up with a few of the pluses and minuses from my point of view...

PLUS- To the Obama campaign for motivating more voters to do their duty than ever before in history

PLUS- To the democratic party for launching what will probably go down in history as the largest, most coordinated attack on American politics.

MINUS- To the media, who not only created stories, but eventually became the story themselves.

MINUS- To the Republican party who so mishandled their candidate

PLUS- To John McCain for being probably the classiest, most gracious guy in American politics. He is a dying breed in this country...

MINUS- To both parties for too much negative campaigning

PLUS- To those folks who did their homework and chose a side based on understanding

MINUS- To those that didn't....

MINUS- To both parties for never addressing the issues behind the sound bytes.

To those who stood on the other side of the fence from me... I truly hope, with all my heart, that your faith is well founded and proven right.

To everyone, don't stop questioning...don't stop learning... Just because the election is over, doesn't mean that the political, economic and social problems in this country are solved. Stay aware, stay informed, and stay curious..

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The One About People, Politics and Pets

So, today's the day folks. Time to stand in line, cast your ballot and make your voice heard. I intend to drop Eggroll off at "school" and then off to the polls. The rest of the day will be determined by how long I have to stand in line. Laundry could actually get done if the lines are short....

In other political news, the issue of media bias has been bandied about lately and it reminds me of a conversation that I had with our translator in China. Just as communism is foreign to us, democracy is foreign to them. The conversation had turned to the press and the media, and the fact that all media in China is controlled by the government. He asked me how tightly controlled our media is, and I had to give him an answer that surprised even me. I told him that our media was just as controlled as the Chinese media, only in a different way. While their media is controlled overtly by the government, ours is controlled by the almighty dollar. Their media swings whichever way the government does, ours follows the money. Neither provides a "whole" picture of any issue. As the close of the presidential election approaches, I'm truly saddened that so many people just accept this as what "is". It's not just that my candidate will more than likely be on the losing end of the run, it's that people all over the world will stand and fight for freedom of speech, and a free media and Americans, sheeple that they are, will merely accept whatever that 15 second sound byte tells them. They suspect nothing if all the sound bytes are the same either. It must be true because the television told me so...

In other news, yesterday found me tackling the disaster zone that was our garage. Seriously, where the hell did all that stuff come from?? I still have to scrub out the fridge out there, but for the most part, all is done. Of course, it turned out to be an all day project....ewww!

I had the Spinner outside with me all day. I have a long line attached to a tree and he spent most of the day lazing about.

I'm not one of those pet owners who allow their pets to wander about. The Spinner is a hunting dog, and all it takes is one second for things to go horribly wrong. He spent the day lazing about, chewing his bone and chasing the occasional leaf that blew by.


This one makes me especially proud. You see, when indoors, the Spinner will bark like a maniac when he sees anyone on the street. Yesterday my really good dog uttered a muted "woof" when confronted with small children walking the street. A triumph! As with any and all triumphs, there is also a downside. And the downside happened because of my addled brain. You see, before being absorbed into the House of Nyt, the Spinner was a show dog. A show dog that was trained to NEVER RELIEVE HIMSELF WHILE ON A CHAIN. I forgot that part, and the poor animal darn near exploded when I finally let him loose in the backyard... I'm hoping he'll forgive me.....

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The One About My Brain and the "Boom"

I would like to remove my brain from my skull and wash it off. It seems to be rather dusty as of late. Disorganized, forgetting things...nothing a good cleaning wouldn't fix.

Halloween started out with a "boom", literally. While Eggroll and I were on the way to the grocery store, a rather large Ram decided to introduce itself to Vanbo. One loud crunch and a shower of glass later, my child looked at me in the rearview mirror, said "boom", and went right back to watching Blues Clues on the DVD player. How wonderful to be a child! Meanwhile, Vanbo suffered a crushed rear door and a blown out rear window. Nothing a couple of weeks in the auto hospital can't fix. However, most of Halloween was taken up by telephone calls, adjusters, estimates and rental agencies. Vanbo has been replaced with a Ram cousin, and so far, everything has gone rather swimmingly. And of course, because it was Halloween, we had plenty of chocolate.....that always makes things easier...

This is the week where Eggroll will spend most of day at "school". Because of the upcoming holidaze, and the approach of inclement weather, and Himself's work schedule, it has been determined that in order to get anything done...the Eggroll needs to be away from the House of Nyt. I hate to do it in one way, but she does love "school" so, and if I wait any longer the work will take twice as long. Of course, my brain did screw-up....I told the center director that she would be there for the whole week, completely forgetting that she has therapy on Tuesday and Thursday.... le sigh! I will have to admit my idiocy in public and rearrange her schedule and mine.

Because of Friday's little problem, I was forced to do my grocery shopping on Saturday. May I say that I was quite gracious on Friday, but Saturday...in the grocery store...I was positively homicidal. Who are all these people, and when did manners become optional??? Seriously, is it just me or is half of society raising packs of wolves? Are people just numb?? Let me just say for the record that if I would have had a cattle prod, things might have gone differently...

I hear movement....must run.....

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The One Where Sweet Isn't Just For Candy

Seriously, the cute is almost painful..... and it scored her a ton of sugar....the real kind.....
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The One About Family and Frustration

Ahhhh, the holidaze....They're approaching rapidly aren't they? Every year around here, the holidaze bring about a multitude of problems. Some are solvable, some, not so much. Almost all of them revolve around family.

For those of you that know me, you're probably aware that I have a pretty shitty family. With the exception of Flipper, the rest of them pretty much suck. Hard.

Over the years the tension within the family grew and flourished. If I told you most of it was over money, would you be surprised? It's long and complicated but suffice it to say it revolves around the fact that although Flipper has been with me since I was nine years old, I'm not "legitimate" in their eyes. And now it's passing through to the next generation. And that's just one side of the "family"

On the other side? Well, let's just say that they'll show up, they'll take interest you when you write a check, other than that? Not so much.

Himself's family? Pretty much non-existent. His older sister is wrapped up in her religion and her own family. His younger sister?? Well let's just say that "teh crazy" really is a sexually transmitted disease... We never hear from them. Perhaps they too, feel that we're not a "legitimate" family...I'm an "other" wife, so maybe that's where their primary problem lies. (BTW, I don't remember actually doing anything to offend them. I'm from the camp that says I can't fix it if you don't tell me what "it" is)

Moving on.....

The Holidaze involve dealing with my family, both side A (Flipper's) and side B (mine). First we'll deal with side A. The A side will be here for Thanksgiving. I do this every year because it makes Flipper happy. Even though at some level he realizes that his family sucks, they are still his family and in some peculiar way, it makes him happy to have them here. It causes a load of stress that can only be tolerated with controlled outbursts of rage and OCD. Some of the "things" that have been said and or done over the years?

"Arrogant" tells me that I must be gone from my family home so that he and his girlfriend can romp in the Jacuzzi. I protest..he tells me that "it doesn't matter what you think, all this will be mine anyway when Flipper dies" He never saw the shovel coming....he refused medical treatment....

"Disturbed" asks me to stand up in her wedding. I agree (it makes Flipper happy) It costs me more than $500.00 to do so. The wedding is out of town. I'm housed away from the rest of the wedding party. I'm uninvited to the wedding party festivities, I drive myself to and from the church and reception.

"Piggy" tells me that "Your husband won't be excited over your adoption, he's had "real" children"

I asked "Disturbed" to do a reading at Momma's funeral. (in fairness, she was my very last choice) She accepts and then assaults me with the statement "We never got to know Flipper because your mother was such a bitch"

These are but a few examples of what has transpired over the years. The hardest part for me is to put on the "happy face". I want to be a good person, I really do. I want Flipper to have everything that makes him happy for as long as he's on this Earth. But I also want peace in my own home. I want peace for my daughter and husband. I want home to be a safe place, and letting these people in my home risks safety. One never knows what they may say or do... the anticipation of disaster causes unbelievable amounts of stress.

My counter for all of this... is that everything must be "perfect"... and my "perfect" is generally over and above everyone else's perfect... Anyone seeing my problem here??

Most days I can give up life's difficulties to the universe and move on... Holidaze? I give them up to the OCD monster and anger...and I don't know how to make it stop while making everyone happy at the same time......

Le Sigh.....

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The One Where I Pledge My Undying Love

To this wonderful little gizmo...Santoku Kitchen Shears from Kitchen Aid. I found them in a multi-pack at my local warehouse store, but I've seen them on Amazon for as low as 6 bucks!! 6 bucks people! How many folks can achieve Nirvana for 6 bucks!

Why I'm desperately in love? Because they do everything....lettuce for salad, done! Toddler's sandwich? Done! Spaghetti in toddler's bowl? Done! Chopped veggies for toddler mentioned above? Done! They come apart so that each side may be used seperately (in case you need more leverage) and they can be WASHED....WHEN THEY'RE APART!....AND DRIED!... so you never have to think about what's growing in the parts you can't get to!!!! (My inner OCD monster is smiling broadly!) Oh and one of the great parts, if you happen to use plastic or melamine bowls or plates with your kids, they don't scratch up the inside of the plate or bowl. (there has been much speculation that scratched plastic products release toxic chemicals when exposed to heat). Love Them!!! Run out and secure them immediately, before the rest of the world finds out how awesome they are!

That is all......
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The One About High School...

We all have memories of high school. Some great, some not so great. Some of you were the "popular" or the "cool" kids, others were the "freaks" "geeks" and "jocks". Many of you often felt that you didn't fit in, maybe there are even some of you out there that "ruled the school".

Up until today, I never gave much thought to my high school experience. I always thought that there were probably only three remarkable things that went on during those years. The first was that I was expelled from the hoity-toity all girls Catholic high school that Momma Nyt always wanted me to attend. (Surprised!? Anyone!???? I didn't think so..) The second was that I spent almost my entire junior and senior year (and three years afterward) dating a guy who was already out of school. (this will be important later) and third was I discovered theater.

So many people relate high school to the experiences. Football games, homecomings, proms..there's the stuff you got away with, and the stuff you didn't. I missed a lot of the regular stuff (see reason number two) and I got away with and was caught for a fair amount of stuff. None of that is what has me thinking today. Today, I'm thinking about the people....and about the mark they left on my life.

After expulsion from Sister Mary's Boot Camp for Young Women, I landed at the local public high school. I arrived in the middle of my sophmore year. And I was most definitely "the new kid". My family had recently made the exodus from the city to the wide open suburbs, and everything was brand new and scary...

First on the list of people who left their mark was J. J. was the wiry, Irish ,working class kid, with what would probably called ADHD today. He was the Biology partner I was assigned to. The partner that no one else really wanted. I remember the teacher, scanning my grades from St.Mary's Boot Camp and announcing in front of the whole class.."Congratulations J. with her as your partner, you now have a hope of passing the class." I made sure he passed. He taught me to just sit still and listen. He taught me to "hear" though the static. I remain forever grateful. I might have missed many things in my life if I hadn't learned the lessons that J. had to teach me.

Next up came E. and T. They saw me standing there, on my first day, in the cafeteria and offered me a seat at their table. We dined together for the rest of the year and most of the following year. I remember being so grateful for that first offer. They taught me to always extend a hand. Always try. And to this day, I always do....

M. and I had a friendship that developed without fanfare. It's as though one day she was just some kid in class with me, and the next we were inseperable. She was beautiful, boheme, brilliant and unconcerned with the conventional wisdom. She taught me that being different was a good thing. Being brilliant was better. She encouraged the curiousity in me that I still have today. Sometime during junior year, M. became involved with S. He was dark, brooding, along with brilliant and sensitive. He hated me upon first meeting...overtime M, S, and I became something like the three musketeers. He taught me that opposites really can become friends. He taught me to appreciate the differences, perhaps even to embrace them.

Lastly, there was T2. Unconventional looking, unconventional thinking, smart, funny, and artistic as hell. She taught me about standing up. And how to really appreciate a good laugh. And that there's no sin in following your bliss...no matter what anyone says...

All of this comes to mind today because today, I found out that one of these people who so shaped my life is no longer with us. Someone who left their mark on me has been gone for close to ten years now. And I never knew......and I never got to tell them just how much I learned in such a short amount of time. Part of me thinks its normal...to lose track of people after such a long time.....part of me believes that it's natural....

But then there's another part of me. It's the part of me that mourns a death I never knew, and cries tears for a soul that I never should have let slip away from my own life. And the other part of me, the part of me that knows I could have done better..

Good-bye my friend.....I hope you know....and I hope we meet again....

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The One That Can't Wait Until Father's Day

One of my favorite guilty, chick flick pleasures is a movie called "Where The Heart Is". There is a line in the film that I hear in my head from time to time. "You tell them that our lives can change with every breath we take.." And it's true. That's why I need to do this now....

The picture above is Flipper and the Eggroll. They look like this together ALL THE TIME. And I can't put into words how happy that makes me. They have a love affair happening that every grandparent/grandchild should have. I don't have the words to express how full it makes my heart, and how content it makes my soul.

I wished this for both of them. When we lost Momma almost three years ago now, I worried for Flipper. He's a loner by nature, and not the most demonstrative fellow in the world. He's what we refer to as a "doer" not a "talker" and for almost 30 years, Momma did the talking for him. When she left us, I worried that he would retreat into his shell and miss so many of the simple joys that life had to offer.

I worried for Eggroll. Momma left us as the order for Eggroll was being placed, and I worried that this kid would never know the joy of being someone's grandchild.

I worried for nothing.

I hope and I pray (yes, the heathen does pray) that wherever Momma is, she can see and feel the joy that Flipper and Eggroll share. I hope that Flipper and the Eggroll both know how very very grateful I am for both of them, and the relationship they have. It is everything I could have wished for.....





Admiring the "Dancing Chickens"..

She would break out the random dance moves when she heard the banjo music. He danced with her and then smugly told me "She likes country music, she'll have taste!"

She already has taste Flipper, she chose to love you.....

P.S. It took over an hour to get this written, I have trouble typing through tears...


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